Woman walks out of meal after boyfriend’s father told her to be completely silent

Woman walks out of meal after boyfriend’s father told her to be completely silent
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A woman has shared her experiences after her boyfriend’s father told to be completely silent during a family meal.

The woman wrote a post on Reddit's 'Am I the a**hole' forum and explained that she walked out of dinner after being repeatedly shushed by members of the family.

She’d only just met her partner’s family before they sat down for a meal together, and they forbade her from talking altogether.

The post explained that while they were “lovely and talkative” before they sat down, the conservative Christian family changed completely when the food arrived.

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She wrote: "Am I the a**hole for leaving after being told to be quiet at dinner?

"My (F21) boyfriend (M24) of almost a year, invited me to dinner with his family. (Mum, dad, and his 16yr old brother.) Never met them prior to that. The only thing I knew about them is that they’re conservative and Christian but lovely people.

"And they were. I got along really well with them, before dinner. They were lovely and talkative. When it was time for dinner, my boyfriend's dad wanted to pray. After praying he said, something along the lines of 'let us dig and let the food keep us quiet.'”

The woman was told to make no noise at the dinner tableiStock

She continued: "I dug in, and took a bite. It was fish soup. Absolutely delicious. And like a good guest I wanted to compliment the cook. 'This is delicious - is it saffron? A perfect autumn soup!' My boyfriend's brother looked surprised. My boyfriend's father hushed me. Big time. A really aggressive SHHH with a finger over his lips. And then he said, again, 'Let the food keep us quiet'.

"I aplogised because I thought I had accidentally spoken with food in my mouth or something. But a few minutes passed and nobody said a word. Super awkward and weird, especially since they had been so talkative before. My boyfriend was also unusually quiet.

"After a few minutes, I was too weirded out and asked about their day, and how nice it was that they invited me there. And his mother did the hush thing? So awkward. I think this is when it clicked, no speaking at all at the table. Let the food keep us quiet. Really quiet. But this was a super awkward situation, and I couldn’t deal with that. Imagine sitting at a table with five people, everybody eating soup looking dead serious.

"So I laughed, it just slipped out. Ended up being told off by boyfriend's parents that I was being disrespectful etc. and if I didn’t respect how their household worked I could eat alone in the kitchen. (We were eating in like a separate dining room.) So I thanked them for the food and left to go to the hotel me and my boyfriend were staying at.”

"My boyfriend later told me that was an a**hole move, that I should’ve just kept quiet, or eaten alone in the kitchen. I understand their family traditions and rules, but it was so weird. I just couldn't take it anymore. Was I being an a**hole though?"

The comments section was full of support for the woman, with one defending her by writing: “This is super controlling, weird behavior. Do they shush everyone who eats with them or do expect Op to follow this controlling behavior? They fact they tried to send her to the kitchen to eat is absolutely bizarre.”

Another added: “Yeah at 24 yrs old there is no way the bf doesn’t know that this behaviour is super weird. Not warning your partner that your family is insane, is an a****** move in and of itself. If she was warned, still chose to come, and talked anyway, I’d say she’s TA.”

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