Trying to navigate social interactions is like a scene from a Hitchcock film: scary, confusing and someone always ends up getting hurt (or in the case of Hitchcock, mentally scarred for life).
Redditors have created this thread that outlines some of the most important unwritten rules that must be followed, upon pain of crippling awkwardness.
Here’s the top ten:
1. If you’re walking in a group, don’t take up the entire path
We’ve all been there; soya latte in one hand, newspaper tucked under the other while we rush to work when all of a sudden, we grind to a sudden, violent halt. A group of wayward tourists have decided to set up camp in the middle of the pavement. It’s not a difficult concept to wrap your head around: stand by the side, let people pass.
2. Always get everything in writing
There’s nothing worse than being swindled out of your money because you couldn’t provide proof that you did, in fact pay your water bill.
3. Speakerphone is not made for public use
Headphones were invented by Nathaniel Baldwin so that you can maintain your privacy when making phone calls. They were not invented so that you, and the 100 people you share your train carriage with can hear your mother shouting down the phone.
4. Don’t be late
This is an age-old rule, and people still get it wrong. If there was a car accident on the way to meeting your friend/significant other, that’s ok. But when you arranged to meet at noon and you show up at three in the afternoon because you were sat in your pyjamas watching Making a Murderer? Not ok.
5. Cover your mouth when coughing and sneezing
There’s nothing worse than being sprayed by an unruly, wet sneeze.
6. If you are at a show/concert and see someone fall down in a mosh pit, help them up
This is just common concert etiquette.
Signalling is a language that you learned so you could get your driver's licence. Use it.
8. Never make fun of someone’s laugh
Chances are they're laughing at you.
9. Taking the biggest slice of pizza is acceptable. Don’t take the second biggest slice too.
Eating pizza is a social affair, so don’t be greedy.
10. If you open something close it again
Cupboards, chocolate spread, internet tabs…