It's 5am on Friday morning and all the signs indicate the Conservatives will be the largest party in the next Parliament.
The SNP have made huge gains in Scotland and three Lib Dem cabinet ministers have lost their seats. So what are they doing at CCHQ?
According to the Spectator, playing the trumpet. Sebastian Payne reports:
Every time a good result for the Tories is announced, [Tory election campaign chief] Lynton Crosby bangs on a wine glass and plays the trumpet upon the declaration. My mole at Matthew Parker Street says he is being treated like a ‘reverent master’.