Man joins online group where his wife had been posting her annoyances about him

A woman has shared how she joined an online group where she would vent her frustrations about her husband - only to discover that her other half has been secretly a part of the group's community.

"A few months ago I joined an online group of like-minded people where we often discuss personal relationship problems," she wrote in a letter to Slate.com's Dear Prudenceagony aunt column.

After joining a group where people shared problems concerning their personal relationships and sharing her own gripes with her partner but soon noticed he had been "really good" at working on the behaviours she expressed in the group that she found annoying.

“I have found that griping about my husband to anonymous people online is a lot better than venting my frustrations at him. Lately my husband has also been really good at changing some of the behaviours that have always driven me up the wall, and now I know why.”

She soon discovered when using his laptop that her husband was actually part of the group under a fake persona when she spotted he was logged into the forum, meaning he had seen every complaint his wife had written about him... awkward.

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"While using his laptop, I happened to notice him logged in as one of the members of my group! He created a fake persona and has seen every gripe I ever typed about him!"

Now the woman hasn't confronted her husband about this because it's a "convenient way to indirectly communicate my frustrations to him" and is now seeking guidance as to whether to tell him.

A woman is unsure whether to tell her husband she knows he's part of an online group where she has vented about himiStockphoto by Getty Images

In response to this dilemma, agony aunt Emily Yoffe had some pearls of wisdom to offer the woman and as Dear Prudence she replied:

“I’m sure my husband would love me to follow your lead and post my complaints online instead of expressing them directly to him. Then he’d follow your husband’s example of not discussing any of this with me.”

Although she did point out where the woman could be at fault in this situation.

“It’s also possible that you haven’t paid enough attention to the male poster on this site who complains that his hyper controlling witch of a wife doesn’t even appreciate when he makes the changes she wants.”

In the end, Yoffe suggested the woman and her husband should have "face-to-face communication", and to "tell your online audience that your husband has undergone a remarkable transformation" and tell them how much it meant to her. She then advised her to do this in real life too by letting her husband know that she's aware he’s a member of the rant group.

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