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7 things more well thought out than Vote Leave's plan

Stefan Rousseau - WPA Pool/Getty Images
Stefan Rousseau - WPA Pool/Getty Images

What Brexit will actually mean was so neglected during the campaign, the Leavers are now scrabbling around to come up with something.

The Brexit camp was such a broad coalition of freemarketeers, closed border enthusiasts, isolationists and Boris, it will be difficult for the factions of the Leave campaign to agree on the extent of Brexit.

What relationships will we keep? Is the single market worth the price of entry? What happens to the free movement of people? Leave won the war but now they must win the peace.

Luckily, leader of the House of Commons Chris Grayling is on the case!

Except... umm... oh dear.

We'll just have to hope for the best.

In a column for the Daily Telegraph Boris Johnson also weighed in today. The Tory leadership front runner tried to imply that there was a plan, but it sounded a lot like just remaining in the EU.

There will still be intense and intensifying European cooperation and partnership in a huge number of fields: the arts, the sciences, the universities, and on improving the environment. EU citizens living in this country will have their rights fully protected, and the same goes for British citizens living in the EU.

Johnson has suggested that the UK can take its time leaving the EU. The EU has said otherwise.

Considering this, here are eight incidents that so far are more well thought out than what's been offered by the Leave campaign. At least these guys had a plan.

1. When France spent billions on trains that were too wide

Photo: Getty/AFP

In 2014 operator SNCF spent €15 billion on a fleet of 2,000 trains which it turned out were too wide to fit into the platforms of most of the regional railway stations in France. Reconstructing the platforms to accommodate the chunkier trains will cost millions more euros.

2. Maginot line

Photo: Getty/Three Lions

This 'clever' line of defences in France was designed to prevent a German invasion across their shared border as had occurred during World War One. The project took most of the 1930s to complete and cost billions of Francs. The German army circumnavigated the state-of-the-art line when it invaded France via Belgium in 1940. Well.

3. The Spanish submarine that was too heavy to float

doesGetty/Jessica Hromas

Due a misplaced decimal point, engineers for the Spanish Defence Ministry designed an electric submarines which was 70 tons too heavy, meaning it would probably sink if ever deployed. The problem was not discovered until the submarine was close to completion in 2013. The Spanish government had already spent almost €2.5 billion on the programme.

4. This website name

Picture: Whorepresents.com

www.whorepresents.com is a talent agency database, not a place to source gift ideas for that special (paid for) someone in your life. How many people must have signed off on this company name?

To be honest there are so many of these to choose from, including the classics www.penisland.net, www.oldmanshaven.com, and www.speedofart.com.

5. The pasty tax

Photo: Getty/Oli Scarff

In 2012 the coalition government tried to simplify the rate of VAT on 'hot take away food', which would have increased the sale price of items such as cornish pasties, sausage rolls, and other delicious things. Yet they often cool down. We've all been there in Greggs when a steak bake roulette means your purchase will be either 'burn your mouth' hot or cold or else be a soggy disappointment munch.

The government clearly had not foreseen the fact that many would bridle at anything which damaged ability of hot cakes to sell.

6. Any of Baldrick's cunning plans


7. Dasani water's slogan

Photo: Getty/Scott Olsen

Dasani was a bottled drink made by the Coca-Cola company which was popular in the US but a flop in the UK. Why? Once again Brits and Americans were divided by a common language. Dasani's slogans included terms like "bottled spunk" and the tag line "can't live without spunk", which were more than a little off putting to UK customers. Things for Dasani got much worse when it turned out that one batch of the bottled water had been contaminated with a concentration of a potential carcinogen.

More: 8 of the most misleading promises of the Vote Leave campaign, ranked in order of preposterousness

More: Four things Brexit campaigners have already u-turned on

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