Keep calm and carry on.
1. Charles' ears might not fit under the crown
2. There’d be more corgis for everyone else
3. Buckingham Palace could host a closing down rave
4. Or become the new Berghain
5. Or a sweet af theme park
6. Said night club/theme park might actually pay its staff the living wage
8. History lessons of the future would be easier
9. Little girls will escape being punched in the face
10. There’d be a few more animals in Africa
11. Swan meat would be the next thing on the menu in hipster restaurants
12. We could have competitions to update the national anthem
13. And the Union Jack
14. And all our money
15. We’d be the UR instead of the UK because “The United Republic of Britain and Northern Ireland” and there’s definitely “you are” jokes in there somewhere
16. Imagine the look on Charles' face
17. The Queen’s Guard would get to have a rest
18. We'd spend less money on commemorative chinaware
26. (Also, tea towels)
28. We’d have way more diverse and interestingly named Tube lines
29. Ditto all public institutions, tbh
30. Wills and Kate wouldn't feel the need to dress George in clothes that look Victorian
31. We won't have to pretend to be awake after Christmas dinner for the Queen's address anymore
33. You could get a great price for the mace and sceptre and crown at Cash Converters
34. Alternatively we could just share them and everyone could play dress up for a day each
35. We’d be able to buy clothes we want from Reiss without Kate Middleton sparking a sell-out
36. LegoLand Windsor could relocate to Windsor Castle
37. Princess Diana's ghost could stop coming back from the grave to deliver messages to Kate Middleton via the Daily Star
39. David Attenborough could be president
40. Or Charlotte Church
41. Or Barack Obama
42. Or Tony Blair
43. We could elect anyone, really. Maybe even the Queen
44. No one would strain their eyes trying to read Prince Charles' handwriting in letters to ministers
45. The gold state coach would be the new UberLux
46. We'd get to show tourists all the other stuff the UK has to offer
47. Headlines like:
48. Prince Philip wouldn't say stuff like this as a representative of the state anymore
[To Australian Aboriginal people]: Do you still throw spears at each other?
49. Or this
[Talking to a British student who had been trekking in Papua New Guinea:] You managed not to get eaten then?
50. Or this
[During the 1981 recession:] Everybody was saying we must have more leisure. Now they are complaining they are unemployed.
51. Or this
[At a Buckingham Palace drinks party, to a group of female MPs:] Ah, so this is feminist corner then.
52. Or this
[To survivors of the Lockerbie bombing:] People usually say that after a fire it is water damage that is the worst. We are still drying out Windsor Castle.