11 of the most brutal reactions to being cheated on
So you've discovered that your no good boyfriend / girlfriend / partner has been doing the dirty behind your back.
Words fail you. Devastation, disappointment and deranged fury course through your veins, leaving you incapable of a pithy comeback.
Step in, internet brethren.
Via anonymous app Whisper, 11 online victims of adultery have shared their perfect response to their ex.
Feel free to re-use the following if you need to...
1. The Variation on the 'Knock Knock' joke
Him: Hey
Me: Hi
Him: What's up?
Me: My standards, bye.
2. The Leading misleading (with a twist)
Well I guess people do sleep differently. I sleep on my stomach, my mum sleeps on her side, and you apparently sleep with my cousin.
Oh and by the way, Karey was born Kevin.
3. The Consumerism con
Took her shopping, let her pick out a few hundred dollars worth of clothes... And I have to go to the bathroom...
But she gets to the register and waits...I'm not coming back.
4. The cold shoulder
Discovered texts from a girl he met online, with plans to meet up while I was away for the weekend.
Woke him up by dumping an ice cold soda over his head. Seeing that shock on his face was awesome.
5. The permanent stain
I took him to get matching tattoos of our names (he went first) and when he was finished, I left.
6. The get out card
Oh, I'm your only phone call from jail? You should've called her...(Click)
7. The comeback
Ex: You will never find a guy like me.
Me: That's the f***ing point.
8. The family affair
His elder brother and me found love in each other after my break up.
9. The squad goals
I wrote him a letter with Taylor Swift's lyrics to 'Never Ever Ever Getting Back Together' and left my promise ring on top.
10. Straight to the point
Leaving. I don't need that in my life.
11. The philosopher
I broke up with him and went on to be truly happy.