WhatsApp’s reputation has suffered during coronavirus.
First, there's endless hoax chain messages from well-meaning family members.
Rumours of the army in Clapham (they’re probably in Infernos but definitely not while on duty).
Prince Phillip dying all over again.
But thankfully, the instant-messaging app has finally come through with some A-grade intel regarding the government’s secret plans for feeding the nation during this time of crisis.
According to a well-informed anonymous WhatsApper, who received the info via his sister’s boyfriend’s brother who works at the Ministry of Defence, one of the secret preparations Boris and co are making is to cook a massive lasagne.
The thinking goes, the massive lasagne will help alleviate any food shortages and hunger.
It’s not just London that will benefit as well, it’s everywhere.
The source says they’ve already started work on the layers and plan to add in the bolognese soon.
Luckily authorities have found an oven big enough: Wembley Stadium.
Apparently they’re turning on the underfloor heating to “bake the lasagne”.
As for delivery? Drones, of course.
“They’re going to cut off little portions and drop them into people’s houses,” continued the source.
“I’m looking forward to that because I do quite like lasagne,” they finished.
Of course, people online are treating it with the gravity required for such a situation.
The media looked for tips…
There was praise for the innovation of the government.
And questions about whether it would be suitable for all of the population.
There was even a response from across the pond.
Maybe those lonely lasagne sheets will finally get bought?
Ok, now we're hungry.
Indy100 has reached out to the MoD for comment.