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Harriet Marsden
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By now you may have heard that Fyre Festival, a new music and culture event in the Bahamas, has turned into the most catastrophic omnishambles.
Organised by Ja Rule and billed to feature the likes of Blink 182 and Skepta, guests were promised boundless luxury, food, drink and glamour for their $4,000-$12,000 price tag tickets.
What they got instead were disaster relief tents, electricity blackouts and, in the words of one Instagram user, "Rich Kids of Instagram meets Lord of the Flies".
#FyreFestival is blowing up on Twitter as people revel in delicious Schadenfreude.
However, the chaos narrated live through the eyes of an everyman, our hero of the tale, Dylan, tells a different story....
He begins with the seemingly innocuous:
Hello internet its STORY TIME!!!! I am currently at #Fyrefestival and this shit is CRRRAAAZZZYYYYY— dylan (go birds) (@dylan (go birds)) 1493348603
Then, Dylan continues...
So I arrived on the island earlier this afternoon as did another plane a few moment after. This shit was inherently unorganized from the go— dylan (go birds) (@dylan (go birds)) 1493349238
So by now, you're expecting a standard Twitter complaint thread, right?
Wrong.
It is complete &total chaos, every1 is running around frantically looking for answers &none of the staff can help. Even they are in the dark— dylan (go birds) (@dylan (go birds)) 1493351082
Now the drama seems to begin dying down...
UPDATE: they are having us sign papers for full refunds. They are just pieces of computer paper but I mean...refunds https://t.co/oNa8EIojl1— dylan (go birds) (@dylan (go birds)) 1493352297
But then everything took a turn for the terrifying...
People have been evacuating the #Fyrefestival for a few hours now. I am leaving shortly. Staff are exhausted, patrons are exhausted— dylan (go birds) (@dylan (go birds)) 1493356039
Now, we admit that we've been scrolling the #FyreFestival Twitter feed all day with the rest of you, enjoying the jokes and memes...
y'all im laughing so hard people really spent $12k on the #fyrefestival to be in the 76th hunger games https://t.co/YhvYlZOL7p— danielle (@danielle) 1493365956
I'm out here at #fyrefestival and some guy found a conch shell and blew into it and everybody is listening to him— Big bags of soup carrier (@Big bags of soup carrier) 1493360950
Everybody just calm down..there's a ball pit. #FyreFestival https://t.co/lVzJDWOOZK— .:RiotGrl:. (@.:RiotGrl:.) 1493375473
But actually, Dylan has some words for the Twitter trolls, that might make you think twice...
Being stuck in a foreign place is scary and unsettling regardless of your financial wellbeing and we can leave it at that— dylan (go birds) (@dylan (go birds)) 1493358496
A lot of these people saved their money for a fun experience. What they got was a nightmare, a waste of their allotted holiday days from work and a major headache.
You wouldn't want to wish that on anyone.
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