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Social media users came up with their own alternative Census questions as households across the UK took part in the 2021 survey.
The once-in-a-decade snapshot of life across England, Wales and Northern Ireland obliges Britons to provide information about their health, education, employment status and more.
Tongue-in-cheek queries fabricated by social media users are unlikely to feature on any future questionnaires, but they gave people a good laugh as they filled in the form on Sunday.
“How many carrier bags do you have under the sink?”, one Twitter user suggested as a potential question.
Other popular lines of inquiry followed a musical theme – the Buzzcocks have been asking this for years:
Ever fallen in love with someone you shouldn't have fallen in love with? #AlternativeUKCensusQuestions — Keith Edkins 🔶🇬🇧🇪🇺💙 (@Keith Edkins 🔶🇬🇧🇪🇺💙)
With video conferencing becoming the norm in the last 12 months, the mute button has been a perennial thorn in the UK’s side.
How many times in the last 7 days have you used the term "You're on mute"? #AlternativeUKCensusQuestions — Big Phish (@Big Phish)
Other users played on regional disparities and questions of etiquette:
Have you ever waited in a queue that turned out not to be a queue? #AlternativeUKCensusQuestions — Wild and Sky (@Wild and Sky)
Is the correct word:
~ Barm cake
#AlternativeUKCensusQuestions — Charlotte O’Farrell (@Charlotte O’Farrell)
Meanwhile domestic knowledge was put to the test by this social media user.
Do you know what colour bin to put out on Bin Day without checking to see what the neighbours have done? #AlternativeUKCensusQuestions — Sharon (@Sharon)
But the last word goes, as it has done so often in recent times, goes to the nation’s hero Jackie Weaver:
Does Jackie Weaver have the authority? #AlternativeUKCensusQuestions — Put The Telly On 📺 (@Put The Telly On 📺)
Surely there can be only one answer to that particular question...