News
Moya Lothian McLean
Oct 22, 2020
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A key aspect of 2020 that will be remembered for years to come is that – despite life semi-grinding to a halt due to a global pandemic – there was just so much news.
Every day! More news!
And as if there weren’t enough headlines from Earth, now NASA have announced they’ve got some big juicy reveal imminent about the Moon.
Moon news! It’s all too much.
Naturally, people immediately began guessing what the “exciting new discovery” NASA were teasing could be.
Here’s 13 attempts people made to shoot for the moon (news).
1. The Moon is haunted
Eagerly awaiting the forthcoming limited Netflix series from Ryan Murphy on this.
2. It is made of cheese
We been knowing. But now we do know. Crackers at the ready.
3. There’s another Moon
Two moons? What does this mean for the tides? And menstruation? Also covens? Think it through, NASA.
4. The Moon is a shamed reporter
The Moon? Or top legal analyst Jeffrey Toobin, who has been suspended from the New Yorker for exposing his penis while on a professional Zoom call.
We’ll find out!
5. The Moon has just been sacked from an entertainment show for potentially being a member of the far-right
Earlier this week, viewers watching previews for new Sky History channel show, The Chop, spotted that contestant Darren Lumsden had tattoos on his face that seemingly referenced Neo-Nazi code.
In Lumseden’s defence, Sky History claimed that the tattoos – including an ‘88’ which is said to be a numerical code for ‘Heil Hitler’, as H is the eighth letter in the alphabet – were in honour of his dead father, who supposedly passed in 1988.
However it was quickly revealed Lumsden’s father was very much alive – and living in Bristol, although he claims not to have seen his son for years.
6. The Moon has been acquired by Xbox
Capitalism always wins!
7. The Moon has been pranked by Sacha Baron Cohen
Did anyone else know there was a new Borat movie coming out? Certainly not former New York mayors, it seems.
8. The Moon is making a surprising content creation foray
Hey, no judgement, we’ve all got bills to pay.
9. A long-lost icon has been found
We all worried hearing the iconic lines warning Major Tom that he was off his course and his direction was wrong.
But not to fear, Major Tom is alive and well and has been cultivating a load of moon cheese all these years.
10. Something to do with Final Fantasy
Nope, not a clue what this means. Nerds, over to you.
11. The Moon has finally announced its 2020 US election endorsements
Will the Moon enter the political fray? Perhaps it'll even write in Kanye West. It's all to play for.
12. Track-and-trace finally expands its remit
Serco are finally coming through with their promises to make sure everyone can access coronavirus testing site – with a brand new launch on the Moon. Thanks.
12. The Moon is cake
You knew it was coming.
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