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Facebook / Nikki Pennington

Most people who are in need of solid advice and life guidance will go to an expert. But for those of us having trouble in our love lives - an understanding ear or a shoulder to cry on can be few and far between.

Not many of us have an abundance of long-term, married couples knocking around to go to seek advice from – but don’t worry, because that’s where Nikki Pennington comes in,.

Nikki and her husband Jer have been together for 13 years, and married for 11 of them - so if you need wise words on staying together, they're a bit of an authority.

When people ask her what the secret to a successful marriage is, Nikki says she usually laughs.

Apparently... There are no secrets.

Nikki told TODAY:

I remember thinking, 'My goodness, if they only knew. There's no secret ... We don’t even go on dates.

She posted her “secret” to a happy marriage on Facebook, where it’s had more than 112,000 shares.

She writes:

I know the typical responses from the "Don't go to bed angry" or the "Always say I love you when they leave"

You guys, do you know how many times in eleven years Jer has taken residency on the couch prior to us having kids because we were mad? Do you know how many times he's left without us saying "I love you" because kids and life. 

The secret to a long lasting marriage is there is no secret at all.

It's about knowing that nothing is going to turn out perfect, that your marriage won't be a highlight reel because that's not real life.

It's about knowing that you can never be prepared for the burdens you might have to help your partner carry but you do know you are willing to be there when they need rest from the burden.

She concludes that the one thing that isn’t a secret is that people must “just try every single day”.

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