Troye Sivan says he cried and "felt really sick" when he realised he was gay

Troye Sivan says he cried and "felt really sick" when he realised he was gay
Damon Baker/Attitude magazine

Troye Sivan went from YouTube sensation to fully-fledged pop star in 2015 thanks to his album Blue Neighbourhood.

In the process, he's won over millions of fans and become an LGBT+ role model for his willingness to discuss sexuality; now, in am exclusive new cover story for Attitude magazine, he's given his most revealing interview ever.

Attitude magazine

Although he officially 'came out' on his YouTube channel back in 2013, he says he first became aware of his attraction to men via an immense crush on Zac Efron when he was around 13 years old. As opposed to the usual cutting and sticking of 'heartthrob' posters (we all do it - right?), Sivan instead felt fear as he realised that his attraction was sexual:

I cried. And felt really sick... It wasn't just: 'This is a little crush on a boy or something like that: I'm not just interested in this boy - I think that's he hot.' And that was weird for me.

He then describes growing up gay and eventually dipping his toe into the dating pool when he was 17 years old, downloading Grindr and trying to meet like-minded LGBT+ people around him:

All my friends were hooking up with random people at parties, and I just felt so left behind because I didn't know gay people, I didn't know where to meet gay people.

As well as experimenting with apps, Sivan also talks about obtaining a fake ID and feeling forced into "hyper-sexualised environments" in attempts to meet other gay men. The stars also admits retroactively feeling "creeped-out" by the attention he got from older man on apps; although he says his dates were PG, he recalls how young he looked at the time and recounts the fears he felt going on dates with the guys he had been chatting to.

Damon Baker/Attitude magazine

Alongside articulating the feelings of loneliness often attached to growing up LGBT+, Sivan also lovingly describes his boyfriend Jacob Bixenman:

He’s got like a kind of energy about him, a magnetic sort of energy. I think people can’t help but love him.

He’s just got one of those personalities that draws people in. [We started dating] pretty much since the day that I met him. We have seen each other almost every day, unless I’ve been travelling or something.

It’s kind of like having your best friend around all the time, which is really nice.

Damon Baker/Attitude magazine

Troye is part of a double cover special of the best-selling gay magazine, also featuring Sir Ian McKellen. It is available to buy in shops and download now.

Keep reading...Show less
The Conversation (0)