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Politics
Greg Evans
Oct 16, 2022
Kwasi Kwarteng says he is ‘absolutely 100%’ not resigning as chancellor
Independent
Kwasi Kwarteng has been out of his job as chancellor for two days but the memes keep on coming - in fact there are more jokes about him than days he spent in the role.
The Tory MP held talks with prime minister Liz Truss on Friday shortly after he returned to London early from a visit to the International Monetary Fund’s annual meeting in Washington DC.
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Kwarteng was appointed as chancellor on 6th September and although he's not the shortest-serving chancellor ever (Conservative Iain Macleod, died in office just 30 days after taking the job in 1970) it's certainly not a good look for the MP whose mini-budget plunged the UK economy into chaos.
The UK will now have its fourth chancellor in the space of a year.
There are hundreds of jokes about Kwarteng doing the round on social media, so here are 38 in honour of his 38 days in the job.
\u201cI literally have some cheese in my fridge that has lasted longer than Chancellor Kwasi Kwarteng\u201d— Sathnam Sanghera (@Sathnam Sanghera) 1665744306
\u201cif Liz Truss sacks Kwasi Kwarteng that means she\u2019s joined the anti-growth coalition\u201d— Toby Earle \ud83c\uddfa\ud83c\udde6 (@Toby Earle \ud83c\uddfa\ud83c\udde6) 1665744613
\u201cKwasi Kwarteng has been sacked as Watford manager\u201d— \u0f4a\u0f63\u0f56\u0f66\u0f62\u0f44\u0f67 (@\u0f4a\u0f63\u0f56\u0f66\u0f62\u0f44\u0f67) 1665745564
\u201cSky news asking \u201cBut what happens to Kwasi Kwarteng now?\u201d as if that is a thing anybody gives a flying fuck about.\u201d— Dara \u00d3 Briain (@Dara \u00d3 Briain) 1665747164
\u201cKwasi was Chancellor for five days less than David Blaine was in that box\u201d— Ed Cumming (@Ed Cumming) 1665744174
\u201cMan didn\u2019t even get to hold up his little box\u201d— Nooruddean (@Nooruddean) 1665744473
\u201cLiz Truss has sacked Kwarteng for the crime of delivering the central plank of Liz Truss's policy.\u201d— Russ Jones (@Russ Jones) 1665746743
\u201cKwasi Kwarteng is being sacked for announcing the policies of his prime minister.\u201d— Femi (@Femi) 1665743749
\u201cFinal indignity for Kwarteng as his sacking is knocked off the news cycle by a tin of tomato soup\u201d— Frankie Boyle (@Frankie Boyle) 1665747333
\u201cSilver lining for Kwasi Kwarteng: he was chancellor for eight days longer than Iain Macleod. And unlike Iain Macleod, at least leaves office alive.\u201d— Patrick Maguire (@Patrick Maguire) 1665743650
\u201cBritish to American conversion PSA: \n\n1 Kwarteng = 3.5 Scaramuccis\u201d— Sarah Churchwell (@Sarah Churchwell) 1665745430
\u201cIt would be despicable of Truss to sack Kwarteng for implementing her policies and seek to remain in office. Really bad form. Typical to blame it all on the staff. Only in Trussia.\u201d— Chris Bryant (@Chris Bryant) 1665743935
\u201cReminded of the Tory MP who said to me earlier this week that Truss sacking Kwarteng would be like \u201cblowing her own foot off\u201d.\u201d— Anushka Asthana (@Anushka Asthana) 1665746056
\u201cThe irony is that if Kwasi Kwarteng's political career has a funeral, every guest will be laughing.\u201d— Count Binface (@Count Binface) 1665746606
\u201cI have asked Kwasi Kwarteng to fly home early from Washington to discuss the large bus that is heading towards him.\u201d— Parody Prime Minister (@Parody Prime Minister) 1665733202
\u201cThere's a pint of milk in the Good Law Project office fridge that's lasted longer than Kwasi Kwarteng's chancellorship\u201d— Good Law Project (@Good Law Project) 1665747234
\u201cLife moves pretty fast sometimes\u201d— Simon Renshaw (@Simon Renshaw) 1665747507
\u201c'So Kwasi, there's a gap in your CV here of thirty-eight days; care to explain it?'\u201d— Stephen Graham \ud83c\uddfa\ud83c\udde6 (@Stephen Graham \ud83c\uddfa\ud83c\udde6) 1665747177
\u201cWhen you're no longer the shortest serving Chancellor in living memory\u201d— General Boles (@General Boles) 1665743753
\u201cIf I\u2019d know that Brexit would lead to the complete destruction of the Tory party, I would have voted for it.\u201d— Richard K Herring (@Richard K Herring) 1665696700
\u201cThe Kwarteng Method:\n1. Turn up to work\n2. Have no idea what's going on\n3. Ruin everything\n4. Leave\n\nA true inspiration.\u201d— TechnicallyRon (@TechnicallyRon) 1665750255
\u201c"Starter for ten. Who is the shortest serving Chancellor of the Exchequer in history who didn't die in office...?"\u201d— Peter Smith (@Peter Smith) 1665748293
\u201cLiz Truss has just asked me to become Chancellor. I told her to clean up her own mess.\u201d— Larry the Cat (@Larry the Cat) 1665747557
\u201cEven @WatfordFC don\u2019t sack \u2018em this quickly.\u201d— Gary Lineker \ud83d\udc99\ud83d\udc9b (@Gary Lineker \ud83d\udc99\ud83d\udc9b) 1665748702
\u201cKwarteng now in so much trouble he's being haunted by the babadook\u201d— alex hern (@alex hern) 1665747469
\u201cApparently Kwasi Kwarteng had trouble getting a seat on the plane cos nobody wanted him anywhere near business or economy\u201d— Ped (@Ped) 1665748219
\u201chttps://t.co/s97HCL3rt4\u201d— Si Lloyd (@Si Lloyd) 1665751327
\u201c. @trussliz omg cant believe he was also part of the anti-growth coalition babe!! SO right to get rid!!! \ud83d\ude40\ud83d\ude40\ud83d\ude40\ud83d\udeae\ud83d\udeae\ud83d\udeae\u201d— Joe Lycett (@Joe Lycett) 1665747967
\u201cBudget problems.. \u2705\n\nUnderperforming team members ..\u2705\n\nLacking in confidence and direction..\u2705\n\nSharon! where are the car keys? \ud83e\udd23\u201d— Neil Warnock (@Neil Warnock) 1665770285
\u201cKwarteng writing his memoirs next year\u201d— Scott Innes (@Scott Innes) 1665753547
\u201cMichelle McManus spent more weeks on the UK Singles Chart than Kwasi Kwarteng spent serving as chancellor x\u201d— Steven Bonaventure x (@Steven Bonaventure x) 1665753141
\u201cI believe they always do this when the conclave has chosen a new Chancellor.\u201d— Alan White (@Alan White) 1665752573
\u201cFor sale: red briefcase, never held\u201d— David McFarlane (@David McFarlane) 1665748181
\u201cVery odd that the only time we ever saw him look happy in his job was at the Queen\u2019s funeral.\u201d— Jon Richardson (@Jon Richardson) 1665748306
\u201cWorst. Calendar. Ever\u201d— troovus (@troovus) 1665757938
\u201cLiz and Kwasi bumping into each other at Greenwich Waitrose\u201d— Sean Bernard (@Sean Bernard) 1665753556
\u201cImpressively, Kwasi Kwarteng has managed to be thrown under the bus he was driving over a cliff.\u201d— Charlie Skelton (@Charlie Skelton) 1665763692
\u201c\u201cWho\u2026 the Tories? Sorry no chance\u201d\u201d— dave \u2744\ufe0f \ud83e\udd55 \ud83e\uddfb (@dave \u2744\ufe0f \ud83e\udd55 \ud83e\uddfb) 1665777558
Additional reporting from PA.
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