Becca Monaghan
Dec 01, 2022
content.jwplatform.com
A new study has revealed the behavioural patterns that could lead to an affair.
The study, published by Psychological Science, aimed to offer insight into whether relationship issues occur ahead of an affair or happen after.
"Infidelity is largely believed to have damaging consequences for personal and relationship well-being," the authors wrote.
"Yet the empirical literature remains inconclusive regarding whether infidelity leads to relationship problems, represents a mere symptom of troubled relationships, or both."
The research, conducted by Tilburg University, involved around 1,000 German adults (609 perpetrators of infidelity and 338 victims) who they followed for over eight years to understand how certain events can impact a relationship.
They asked participants to self-evaluate their well-being and relationship satisfaction and found that people who were guilty of cheating had lower self-esteem, relationship satisfaction and lower rates of intimacy.
Researchers also discovered that there were changes in the relationship ahead of an affair, with reports of more conflict and a decline in satisfaction.
Following cases of infidelity, they learnt that the majority did not recover.
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Meanwhile, an "affairs recovery coach" claimed some couples could get past it.
Rece Davies, 43, who has been with her husband for 19 years, married for 17, and reconciled after her affair, claims infidelity is "an addiction" and says people are unfaithful as a "form of escapism" or as a "pain pill".
Rece, from Central Valley, California, US, told SWNS: "I ended up in a really dark spot and had an affair.
"Through my experience, I have been able to learn, and research. I found out a lot of truths that I had no clue about before.
"I discovered that so many affairs are exactly the same - even though the stories might start differently. They all follow very similar patterns, and we end up lying to ourselves.
"We believe the lies we tell and when you realise that so many of them are the same story - you just want to help people wake up to the truth of it."
Her top tips for overcoming infidelity are to:
- Actively do things to improve the relationship
- Engage with yourself and realise your needs
- Talk about the issues that have caused one of you to have an affair
- Write a journal
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