The most tortured prose from the new Fifty Shades book

EL James's Grey, which retells the events of the Fifty Shades of Grey novel from Christian's perspective, is out.

We've pored over the new book to find its best worst lines. You'll notice that while Anastasia was guided by her inner goddess Christian is pretty much ruled by his cock which twitches, jumps and "responds" pretty much every time his paramour bites her lip.

Under normal circumstances her maladroitness would irritate the hell out of me...

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