Man's Olympic dreams ended by his own penis

Joe Vesey-Byrne
Tuesday 16 August 2016 13:00
sport
Picture: Screengrab from Youtube

On Saturday Japanese athlete Hiroki Ogita attempted to qualify for the Men's Pole Vault at Rio 2016, all because of his penis.

No this isn't a Daily Beast thing.

Ogita finished 21st in the qualifiers, after he floundered on the 5.45m jump.

Picture: Franck Fife/Getty

Unfortunately he knocked the pole and fell into the crash mat, preventing him from progressing further in the competition.

Picture: Franck Fife/Getty

An Olympic dream dashed for at least four years.

Picture: Franck Fife/Getty

Pretty standard stuff, but let's take another look, back and to the left.

We can now identify the real culprit.

His penis.

Picture: Pocong Makenon

Using the latest slow motion technology we can see how his knee slightly grazes the bar, but then his penis (henceforth nicknamed 'Judas') got in the way, bringing Ogita tumbling down.

A man's dreams shattered by his manhood. Commentators are yet to suggest that if he had worn bigger shorts he might have kept himself contained and mastered the bar.

It was Graham Greene who said:

You cannot conceive, nor can I, of the appalling strangeness of the mercy of God.

We're sorry Ogita that you were punished for having the member God gave you.

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