Do you remember your first Ed Balls day, or close to it? How it brought families and friends together in a celebration of poor social media use.
We laughed. We retweeted the original tweet. Everyone was in on the joke, even Ed in the end.
Nowadays it’s all different – it’s been commercialised, and we’re buying into it.
Original picture: Getty
Kids these days are just running downstairs to see if Ed Balls has been, checking their Ed stocking, looking underneath the Ed Stone.
Even this very article is a monument to the capitalist greed that has encompassed our Ed Balls culture - we’re writing about Ed Balls because there’s Ed Balls-sized targets to hit, and we can’t compete unless we buy into it.
We’re monsters now.
And so are you. You did this.
It started out with a couple of harmless tweets, then you started using the trending hashtag.
Brands saw, they watched the metrics from their cramped and soulless caves with envious eyes, waiting for their times.
It didn’t come at the first anniversary, but gradually they pervaded. And now, on this, the fifth Ed Balls day, we are truly polluted with these meaningless, calculated outpourings.
And where is the soul in it? Where did we go wrong?
The mainstream media will tell you it's always been like this, that it was never free from exploitation.
But it was, once - I still believe in Ed Balls and the people who embrace its true meaning
And so do others, who have similarly tweeted Ballsian cries for help to save our most dear of days.
There’s only one person who can save us now, and restore the true meaning of Ed Balls Day.