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The Independent

A man has caused outrage after claiming he made a spreadsheet totting up what his daughter “owes” him and demands she pays it back.

The family fell out a few years ago and despite the 21-year-old reaching out to him, he expects her to reimburse him the $18,000 he estimates he spent on her since she turned 18 before he will let her back into his life.

The 48-year-old dad explained his situation on the Am I The A**hole subreddit.

He said his daughter, Aria, “abandoned” his side of the family when she was 15 to instead live with his “enabling” ex-wife Sandra.

Until then, he and Sandra had 50/50 custody. He said that Sandra was always less strict than him, and allowed Aria to do “what she wants” and bought her “everything she wants”.

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But when Aria was in high school and aged 15, the dad was upset when she went on a five-day school trip and “didn’t bother to send more than a couple of texts”.

When she returned, he grounded her “because she had to learn to respect and show some love for her family.” She said she texted her mother during the trip, but the father was upset as they had “barely heard from her”.

He said she has never had a lot of friends, but had been invited to a popular girl’s birthday party. But he said this was her “punishment, not going to that party after forgetting about her family.”

Aria was upset and tried calling her mother, asking to be picked up, but the father said it was “illegal” to do so because it was his week. He also said she wanted to go back to her mom because she would lift his punishment and allow her to go to the party.

Sandra collected Aria at the end of the week, and the Redditor told her she doesn’t have to come back if she doesn’t want to. He didn’t hear from her again.

He said: “Her sister kept asking me why she didn't come back, and I didn't know how to explain to her that she didn't love us and that she preferred staying with her mother, her parties and her free-of-rules life.”

Since then, they have only communicated through lawyers and said Sandra has no intention of helping them make amends because “she finally has her to herself”.

He said they have been “demanding” that he pay for child support, even though she is now 21. He said he has to pay, as well as half of her college expenses.

When Aria turned 18 he started “adding up everything I had to pay in an Excel”. He sends it to Sandra every time he updates it “so she knows what damage she is doing to our daughter”.

He said he expects his daughter to “pay her debt”, and the sum is now at $18,000.

He added: “Aria has been trying to get in touch again. I told her that we can't fix the emotional part unless we fix the money part first.

“She needs to prove to me that she doesn't only care about the money. Sandra says I'm an a**hole but I think she is, since she has done nothing but try to take my daughter away and she finally has what she wants.”

The Redditor was roundly roasted in the comment section.

The top comment, with almost 70,000 upvotes, reads: “You are a horrible father and I can see why your daughter left.”

“You want your daughter to pay you back for court-ordered child support. You’re the biggest a**,” another said.

Another pointed out that everything Aria was doing was “normal teenage behaviour”, and said he “massively overreacted”. They added that she shouldn’t have to pay him back and said: “If you harass her for repayment, I hope this poor girl just walks away for good.”

The original poster responded to a question asking whether or not he keeps track of what he spends on his other daughter. In his comment, which was downvoted 12,000 times, he said he doesn’t track what he spends on his other daughter because “she lives with me and she loves me”. He said she “doesn’t talk back” to him the way Aria did and said Aria left voluntarily.

He wrote: “I shouldn't be forced to pay for a child I don't even know anymore. Aria hasn't earned my money, she is living comfortably at her mother's house and sees me as an ATM, and I'm not willing to pay not even a penny.”

He said he plans to take the matter to “higher courts” and will add the lawyer expenses to “her debts”. He told her that he would clear the debt if she lives with him again, but she said she needs time.

He continued: “She says she needs time to live with me again and she wants to go slow, but she's an adult and would certainly go live with her boyfriend without going slowly? Or even a friend. She wants everything while giving nothing in return. So if she's not even willing to come back to live with me, the debt will still be up.”

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