<p>TikToker Kayley was forced to defend herself, despite being the victim</p>

TikToker Kayley was forced to defend herself, despite being the victim


A fierce TikTok debate has erupted on the safety of women in nightclubs after a bride-to-be claimed her drink was spiked but the bartender refused to believe her.

The alleged victim, called Kayley (@kayleyg21), explained that she had been out celebrating her hen do at a club in Ocean City, Maryland, when she saw a man “slip something into her drink.”

The TikToker said it was around half an hour before closing when she noticed the stranger tampering with her glass out of the corner of her eye.

Deciding to test her theory, she sipped the drink and it “tasted completely off”.

Kayley said the man then followed her around and “only dipped back into the crowd  of people once he saw me hand my drink back to the bartender.”

However, when she explained to the staff member what had happened, he simply “scoffed” at her, poured her drink away, and charged her for a new one.

“He didn’t ask me who did it, he didn’t ask me if I was OK,” she said. “He charged me for a new drink and then let this possible predator stay to potentially hurt someone else.”

Addressing viewers, Kayley said she felt it was important for her to share her story to help protect other women planning trips to the Seacrets nightclub.

“The crowd there was very predatory,” she admitted. “But unfortunately that’s something that women are all too familiar with.”

Her clip has racked up more than 862,000 views and 149,000 likes as fellow TikTokers shared their own similar experiences.

“I was roofied (spiked) at a bar in NC and the security treated me the same way,” one wrote.

“Thankfully the female bartender had my back and called 911. I woke up in the ER.”

Others issued warnings against the same venue, with one commenting: “Someone I know just DMed me that she took one shot and blacked out at Seacrets this weekend, same thing happened to her.”

Kayley responded to criticism and speculation surrounding the circumstances of her alleged attack@kayleyg21/TikTok

However, other users condemned Kayley’s response, asking why she would taste a drink that she believed to be spiked.

In a follow-up video, the TikToker said: “As a female we’re told all of our lives to speak up but when we do speak up nobody believes us. We’re told ‘just reach out for help’ but when we reach out for help nobody believes us. There’s always that small chance of us not being right and it just being paranoia.

“I was very wary of that happening and so I tried the drink.”

She continued: “With that being said, that was the dumbest thing I could have made in the moment. Always trust your intuition because it is always not worth it.

“And with that being said, I would just like to point out how questionable it is that so many people are focusing on that aspect of the story.”

She ended the clip: “It’s absolutely not all men, but when you focus on something that’s not the problem at hand it makes it harder to identify these men.”

She was also forced to defend herself against accusations of being “drunk and delusional” at the time.

“Not that it matters, but I am a very anxious and paranoid person and I had my wits about me the entire night,” she said.

“That was literally my second drink,” she clarified, adding: “And even if I was wrong, even if I was ‘delusional’, even if I couldn’t speak very well for myself, the bartender should have absolutely not assumed that.”

Scores of users agreed, with one writing: “Always believe the victim. It’s insane to me the ignorance of some people, I’m so sorry that happened to you.”

Another said: “Cue the gaslighting!” adding that critics needed to “check [their] misogyny.”

And a third commented: “When I first saw this video I was like ‘oh why would she sip it’ but then I realised I would’ve easily done the same thing.

“We don’t go to bars/clubs expecting to defend ourselves. We go to have fun, and the problem is rapists and abusers, not victims.”

Kayley said she had been troubled by many men’s response to her story@kayleyg21/TikTok

After Kayley complained in her original post that Seacrets had been “radio silent” in response to her story, she later confirmed that the club had begun investigating her claims.

She said in a video update that the club had located the alleged perpetrator via CCTV footage, but they couldn’t see him tampering with her drink because the area was too crowded at the time.

Turning to the bartender’s response – which she said was her “biggest concern” – the club said he had insisted that she made “no mention of thinking that [her] drink was drugged.”

They added that they had given their staff fresh training on “how to handle” situations like hers.

Concluding her series of posts, she stressed: “It’s really troubling to realise how many men don’t seem to get the point of how scary things can be for females.”

Judging by some of the comments she received, we still have a long way to go when it comes to quashing victim-blaming.

indy100 has contacted the nightclub for comment.

Please log in or register to upvote this article
The Conversation (0)