Sexpert reveals how to confidently share your kinks with a partner

Sexpert reveals how to confidently share your kinks with a partner
Girl Talk: Is sex an obligatory part of relationship?
Fox 26

Being open-minded in the bedroom is one of Brits' biggest turn-ons, a recent study revealed – and while kinks and fantasies can be fun to explore, it's often difficult to initiate those types of conversations with a partner.

Unsurprisingly, good hygiene (63%), being respectful (48%) and having good manners (43%) also came out on top.

Ness Cooper, clinical sexologist and sex and relationship therapist at The Sex Consultant, expressed the importance of being "clear in communication" to ensure "desires are met, and you're able to maintain a satisfying relationship" in the long run.

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Speaking to Lovehoney, Cooper revealed five invaluable tips to remove the stigma and shame, and confidently open up with your partner:


Cooper advised differentiating whether it's a fantasy or a desire to act them out.

"It’s okay to share things that turn you on even if you don’t wish to explore them in real life," she said.


It's crucial to give your partner to process any kinks or fantasies, as you've likely thought about them a lot longer than they have, and it could "take a while for them to figure out their true feelings around them."


While it's great to explore sexual fantasies, Cooper says they "shouldn’t be conditional to your relationship" – and most importantly, should always be consensual, of course.

"When you state it’s something you need or must have, it can take away elements of consent which is a big red flag," she said.


Cooper advised setting boundaries and putting 'safe words' in place for sexual endeavours, adding: "A traffic light system is a good way to signal when things get too out of hand or not."


Compromise is sometimes needed in the bedroom.

"Certain kinks and erotic fantasies may need to stay within the realms of role play to make them possible with your partner(s)," Cooper revealed. "This doesn’t make them any less valid or sexy, and can actually give you various ways to explore the things that get you hot as you communicate different scenarios and options."

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