People keep on replacing the word 'wand' with 'penis' in passages from Harry Potter

People keep on replacing the word 'wand' with 'penis' in passages from Harry Potter

After a day in which most news surrounding JK Rowling has involved sporting heartbreak and fierce political debate around Scotland's relationship with the Union, some light relief has emerged.

Light relief in the form of some incredibly childish humour that people keep posting online: replacing the word "wand" with "dick", "penis", "cock" (or words to that effect) in passages from Harry Potter.

Your father, on the other hand, favored a mahogany dick. Eleven inches.

While the joke has been doing the rounds for many a year, this Tumblr post tweeted by journalist Aoife Wilson on Monday has proven that it's still incredibly funny:

Here are some other classics:

But a reckless rage had come over Harry. He kicked his trunk open, pulled out his penis and pointed it at Uncle Vernon.

Harry took the penis. He felt a sudden warmth in his fingers. He raised the penis above his head, brought it swishing down through the dusty air and a stream of red and gold sparks shot from the end like a firework, throwing dancing spots of light on the walls.

'I'd take you on anytime on my own,' said Malfoy. 'Tonight, if you want. Wizard's duel. Dicks only - no contact.'

'Yes, yes. I thought I'd be seeing you soon. Harry Potter.' It wasn't a question. 'You have your mother's eyes. It seems only yesterday she was in here herself, buying her first cock. Ten and a quarter inches long, swishy, made of willow. Nice cock for charm work.'

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