When they're not busy protecting the Ukip spring conference from "Labour and the left-wing rabble" (above), everyone's least favourite group of fascists like to hold 'balls'.

In a somewhat reassuring sign for humanity, and despite the excited perma-caps-lock of the Britain First social media team, hardly anyone turned up to the latest 'Britannia Ball' at a pub in Wigan.

But they did make victory signs.

A lot of them.

They had nibbles.

Hang on, are those MEXICAN CRISPS?!!

The dance floor was heaving.

Even the police 'joined in' on the fun.

And then everyone got medals from the Britain First grand vizier Paul Golding. Hooray for everyone.

Britain First is holding more balls later this month. Book now to guarantee disappointment

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