My boyfriend dumped me to 'focus on his career' — now I'm ...

If you are trying to save money for a house, 2022 perhaps isn't the easiest year to do so, especially with the cost of living crisis currently sending prices soaring.

The last thing you need is your partner questioning whether they should still date you just because of how you've opted to save money, even if it does mean that you are still living with your parents.

That's what one gent is potentially having to deal with after the woman he is dating consulted Mumsnet over whether she should carry on seeing him after learning he is still living with his mum.

The woman, who says she is 28, claims to have lived on her own since she was 18 and is concerned that the man in her life, who is 32, is not very savvy with his money and may lack a bit of maturity.

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She wrote: "So I met a man recently who is awesome, but I’m not worried that he still lives with his parents (he never moved out). He says the reason is saving for house (but only has 10k in savings) making 25k a year. I have been living on my own since I was 18 (now 28) and managed to save over 20k while paying rent. I don’t want to be shallow, but finances are important. Also I’m worried about differences in maturity. What do you think ?"

As you can imagine, the reaction to the post was mixed.

Some felt that she should get out of there as soon as possible. One person wrote: "Oh God, no," while another added: "Run like the wind."

A third added: "32, low earner, f**k all for savings, has always lived at home with his parents and freeloads off of them... Hard pass. If you want a real partnership/marriage, children, and especially a partner that shares your values on money, don't waste your time."

However, others defended the man, sympathised with his situation and told the woman to stick with him. One person weighed in and said: "I don't see the issue. Why waste money on rent?. It's only the UK that has this attitude. Other countries it's fine"

Another added: "I think it is fine. I don't see what is so great about moving out and paying rent when you don't have to."

A third wrote: "If it bothers you then forget it, but at the moment most people I know who are single and in their 30s are living at home. Great that you’re good with money but I definitely wouldn’t have had ten thousand in my early 30s (am 42). Is he a nice guy? Do you click? Do you fancy him?"

Responding to the comments the OP said: "He seems to be doing a lot around the house and pulling his way - just doesn’t contribute financially. I am also bit bothered his parents are against me staying over (they are religious)."

She added: "I have nothing against him living at home, but if the reason is saving and he says he has been at work for last 13 years . Then I’m worried about his financial maturity (he says he hates living at home - one of the reasons is that he can’t have anyone over)"

Some advised her to play the long game and see how things develop. One person wrote: "Your relationship is recent. Maybe too early to worry about finances & his wherewithal? If I were in your shoes I’d be worried about his mum doing everything for him & having that expectation from you? In the fullness of time you’ll get to know him better & his attitude to saving & money. Keep your antenna up & go with your gut. Don’t move in with him too soon. It might be nice to “play house” for a while but he might be expecting a mother substitute? That would be very hard work."

Another said: "Hmmmm Sounds like a path of least resistance choice because if the saving for a house convenient reason was real he would be focused and have more than 10k. If he's on 25k and probably has a fair amount of disposable given he's at home he would have more than that to show for it over the years, if that was the genuine main reason.
So, something else is going on imo. Maybe it's easy and he's a man-child, maybe his parents need lots of support, maybe he's emotionally entangled.... Who knows but I don't think you've got the full story and anyone can look amazing when they're not having to adult properly."

What do you think?

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