Women divides the internet after avoiding ‘controlling’ parents at Christmas

A woman has divided the internet after sharing the story of her complicated relationship with her parents when it comes to Christmas plans.

The unnamed woman, who was 27 when she uploaded a Reddit post, said that she decided not to tell her parents that her and her 33-year-old partner would be avoiding her parents over the festive period.

Why did she decide to skip Christmas with her family? Because her mother insisted that they weren’t allowed to share a bed.

“I (F27) have been with my boyfriend (33) for almost two years now. We will be getting married eventually but it's not a priority,” the woman wrote on the popular “Am I the A***hole” thread.

She explained: “My mom won't let us share a bed if we come see them for any reason. When we came over this last summer my boyfriend suggested renting a hotel so we could have privacy and a comfortable bed. It drove my mom nuts that we bypassed her [little] rules. She wouldn't drop it the entire time we were there. She made me promise not to do that again.”

After explaining that she and her partner decided to stay with her boyfriend’s family in Mexico instead, the woman added: “We didn't tell my parents we weren't coming. My mom asked me at Thanksgiving if I was going to hold to my promise not to stay at a hotel over Christmas. I answered truthfully that I would not stay at a hotel.”

“I am sitting here on the balcony of my future in-laws condo looking at the Carribean waiting for sunrise and enjoying the peace and quiet. I made the mistake of going online yesterday and I saw a bunch of posts from my mom and my sisters about how I was a jerk for lying to them about my plans.

"I may have been a little tipsy last night because I decided to respond. I said that it was ridiculous of them to try and tell me I couldn't share a room with my boyfriend, that I was keeping my promise by not staying at a hotel when we were there, and that if they planned on putting everything on Facebook I would be avoiding all visits for the foreseeable future.”

Thousands of Reddit users took to the comments section to share their take after reading the post.

Many were supportive, with one saying: "I’m sick of people insisting that we take the high road with our controlling/toxic/narcissistic family members when time and time again it doesn’t work. That’s emotional labor that OP did not feel like doing this holiday season and I do not blame her. It’s exhausting being the bigger person for people who will only take advantage and try to manipulate or control us even more. OP is NTA for trying to avoid this with a lie of omission. I think anyone suggesting otherwise has never dealt with a toxic parent."

One user commented: "Is there a reason you didn’t just tell them upfront that you would be spending christmas with your boyfriend’s family?"

"They’re assholes for trying to control you like that, but I don’t really see what you gained by misleading them about your plans."

The woman replied to the comment by saying: "To avoid weeks of my mom trying to manipulate me into going home."

Another also questioned the woman, writing: "Your mom is horribly controlling. That's not in question. But instead of saying, "I won't be spending Christmas with you this year, I'm going to the in-laws, and if I come to you again, we will stay in a hotel," you lied in such a way that they thought you'd be attending. Instead of acting in the adult manner in which you want to be treated, you behaved like a kid."

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