Sooz posted the sketch to Twitter on Friday titled ‘Nicola Witchell gives her reaction to #HarryandMeghanNetflix’.
The bespectacled and wigged actor begins her spoof: “Diana would have hated this, she’d have been appalled to see Harry marry a woman who, when not filming her little television show Suites, which I will NOT be watching, she was off doing humanitarian work.”
She goes on: “Her curtsy, which genuinely, genuinely gets more offensive the more times you watch it – and I’ve watched it 45 times today alone – would have disgusted Diana.”
Referring to Harry’s mother, the late Princess of Wales, she continues: “Diana had utmost respect for Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth the II Windsor and never, never would have done anything to bring the Royal Family into disrepute.”
(You can see where this is going…)
“She certainly wouldn’t have decided to tell ‘her side of the story’ like the Sussex woman.”
Lest we forget, Diana did precisely that in a now highly controversial Panorama interview with the BBC’s Martin Bashir.
Turning back to Meghan, ‘Nicola Witchell’ continues: “I met her a few months before the wedding, introduced myself, and said, ‘I expect you’re not used to having the limelight, young lady.’ And do you know what she did?
“She just smiled.
“Was Mrs Meghan Sussex respecting Diana when she hugged AIDS patients, walked around some land mines and romanced a heart surgeon?” she then asks, in a glaring mix-up of the two women.
She then says: “Harry, and I can’t give him 100 per cent of the blame or even 15 per cent of the blame, truth be told, feels unable to stand up to his wife Meghan Markle the Sussex. He cannot, such is her hold over him.
“A former prince raised in extreme privilege who served several terms in Afghanistan as an Army Captain, 38 years old, is controlled by Meghan the Sussex, an actress who grew up in a small town in America.”
She goes on: “One Sussex, probably the Meghan one, said that ‘anyone can be a royal correspondent’ and that simply isn’t true.
“To be a royal correspondent you must make the Royal Family – above gods, if I may be so bold, in my opinion – look exceptional and good at all times.
“So Meghan the Sussex could never be a royal correspondent actually.
Sooz ends her fictional tirade: “I have found myself thinking, thank goodness the Queen is definitely dead because she didn’t have to live to see this.
“King Prince Charles has had to see it of course, being alive, but even I can’t seem to feel any emotion towards him.”
Her two-minute skit was met with delight by fellow Twitter users, with one writing: “This is just so so perfect.”
“Frighteningly accurate,” commented another.
While a third pointed out: “British sarcasm is top tier.”
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