Mum flooded with support for announcing 'secret' plan to leave husband

Mum flooded with support for announcing 'secret' plan to leave husband
Signs of a toxic relationship

A new mum has been praised for her bravery on TikTok after she revealed her plans to leave a toxic marriage.

The woman, called Marta (@officialmarta_xo), shared a video of herself decked out in blue scrubs sitting down at a desk and looking determined.

In an overlay to the clip, she accused her husband of prioritising his friends over his family, despite her constant pleas for help with their young baby.

She wrote: “I've been begging for the bare minimum for MONTHS. He has time for his friends but not his wife.”

She also suggested that he was dismissive of her, complaining: “[He] didn’t believe I’d put our newborn in daycare and start working.”

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But, she confirmed, she had taken control of her life and got herself a job and financial independence.

“Here’s to my first day at work and secret bank account,” she said.

In a separate caption, she added: “Can’t wait to move [the f**k] out.”


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Marta's video racked up more than 1.5 million views and nearly 130,000 likes in three days as commentators showered her with support or shared their own similar experiences.

“Proud of you for this!! It's a huge step that many women including me are scared to take,” one wrote.

“As someone who just got blindsided by their spouse with no money to myself… make the secret account. Trying to leave with nothing is so stressful,” another advised.

“I got tired of expecting the bare minimum from a narcissist so I left and three years later I started my own business!” a third wrote.

“I left with nothing, started from the bottom. I graduate in [seven months]. With a BA. Going for my master's. No regrets,” said a fourth.

And a fifth confessed: “I’m trying to leave a relationship. I’m ok with starting from nothing. I had two job interviews this week. Here is to proving I deserve better.”

Meanwhile, others stressed the importance of financial backups, even in the case of happily married people, with one writing: “I'm a firm believer of a secret bank account even if the relationship is okay because you never know.”

Others offered tips on how to create a secret safety net.

“Put the secret bank account in a trusted person's name. Mom or grandma,” one recommended.

“Make the bank account a custodial account,” said another. “It can only have one parent on it and that parent stays the custodian of the account when you divorce.”

Others expressed concern that Marta’s husband would see her post and that she would suffer as a result.

“I hope he [doesn’t] see this,” one wrote.

Marta replied simply: “He’s aware.”

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