Ashley Tisdale’s confession on toxic friendships sparks a bigger conversation about walking away

Friendships are often assumed to be effortless, but what happens when they stop being healthy?

For many, stepping away from a toxic friendship can be just as, if not more, painful than ending a romantic relationship. Feeling excluded, dismissed, or drained by someone once considered close can leave a lasting emotional mark – a truth that even celebrities have publicly reflected on.

Ashley Tisdale French recently shared her experience of walking away from a friendship group that had become toxic in an essay for The Cut, describing the repeated exclusion as leaving her drained and left out.

In the candid piece, she recalled "sitting alone one night after getting [her] daughter to bed … feeling totally lost as to what [she] was doing 'wrong' to be left out."

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The former Disney star-turned-businesswoman noted times when fellow members of the group would organise hangouts with everyone but her. One of which was even planned at her daughter's birthday party.

She learnt about the secret meet-ups through not-so-subtle Instagram Stories and posts.

Reflecting on her early days in the group, she began to recognise a "weird dynamic" where one of the other members was often excluded from gatherings.

"Now it seemed that this group had a pattern of leaving someone out. And that someone had become me," she penned.

While online speculation attempted to pin the fallout on politics, with claims that the star is a Republican, Tisdale French’s representative stressed to TMZ that the rumours were completely false, noting that she is a registered Democrat.

Eventually, Tisdale French confronted the mum-group head-on, writing in the chat: "This is too high school for me and I don’t want to take part in it anymore."

It didn't take long for social media to jump in on the conversation, with many noting how unfortunately familiar the experience felt.

"Then why didn't anyone ask where I was?' This is the most relatable thing in Ashley Tisdale's article," one reader responded. "When a toxic friend group tries to gaslight you as if you're too stupid to see the signs".

Another chimed in: "Mom groups: where adulthood meets high school cafeteria politics."

Meanwhile, a third penned: "Famous people are just like us."

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But why can ending a friendship sometimes feel harder than ending a romantic relationship?

Clarissa Silva, behavioural scientist and relationship coach, explains that friendships occupy a unique emotional space. With over 18 years of experience and her method Your Happiness Hypothesis (H20), Clarissa has guided clients through what she calls "friendship divorce".

"Over time, surrounding yourself with toxic people not only erodes your self-esteem and sense of self; it creates maladaptive patterns and cycles," she says.

"Ironically, toxicity is related to some unresolved pain caused by someone else that the person may have repressed," Clarissa explains. "When you begin feeling like you no longer feel safe in sharing because of the person’s explosive reactions, or you begin questioning why you allow this person to dismiss you or treat you unfairly, it might be time to re-evaluate the friendship."

Friendship breakups can feel especially fraught because they often come without the clear social rituals that mark romantic breakups. There are no anniversaries to mourn, no shared home to untangle – just the invisible emotional threads that bind you to someone who may no longer serve your wellbeing.

Recognising when it’s time to step back, as Tisdale French did, is ultimately an act of self-care, and one that allows space for relationships that are genuinely supportive and nourishing.

You should also read...

• 5 tips on how to make friends as an adult according to experts
• Gen Z and millennials are getting hit hard with 'friendflation' – and it's costing them a staggering amount

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