"I always craved a strong male figure in my life. I never had that bond with my father and always envisioned having it with a son," he wrote and noted how his wife was " aware of this deep-rooted desire."
At his wife's first pregnancy appointments, the man couldn't make it as he was on essential business trips as the only breadwinner in the family.
So his wife would attend check-ups with her adopted mother, where she found out the baby's gender.
"Upon my return, she excitedly told me we were having a boy. We invested emotionally and financially: a blue nursery, boy-themed items, even naming him after my late grandfather."
The dad who had a "deep-rooted desire" to have a son was "devastated" to find out his wife lied about their baby's gender, saying it was a boy when they are actually expecting a girl.iStockphoto by Getty Images
But everything wasn't as it seemed and the truth was revealed by "a chance remark from her [wife's] mother disclosed we're having a girl."
"My wife admitted she knew from the beginning but didn't tell me, thinking she was protecting my feelings," he detailed.
"I was devastated, feeling the weight of past hurts and fresh betrayals. In my pain, I cleared out the nursery and, in a moment I regret, told her mother she wasn't welcome at upcoming family events, seeing her as part of the deceit."
To conclude he reflected on what happened: "I acted out of deep-seated emotions and past traumas. I love my wife and regret my reactions, but I feel lost. AITA for how I responded?"
Since then people have been reacting to the post, with some believing the man is the one who is a**hole in this situation, while others think both the man, his wife and his mother-in-law are all equally in the wrong.
One person wrote: "ESH [Everyone sucks here]. I cannot imagine why she thought it would be less painful for you to think you were having a boy and then disappoint you later. Getting your hopes up accomplishes nothing.
That said…you very much did overreact in clearing out the nursery and disinviting her mother from coming over. This reaction is crazy and you talking about this pain and devastation surrounding having a girl is probably the reason she was afraid to tell you
"YTA. Our children do not exist to fix us. Your happiness is not your child's purpose. You are already a bad father," another person said.
Someone else added: "YTA - your wife shouldn't have lied, but your reaction was so wildly inappropriate and completely proves her fear right."
"ESH, your wife’s lies were bad, however your reaction and words show that you would have reacted otherwise if you knew it would be a girl. Please seek therapy and resolve your issues, your daughter does not deserve potentially being loved less than a baby boy," a fourth person commented.
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