Woman demands necklace back from friend after learning its real value, sparking debate

A woman has sparked a debate about gift etiquette after revealing her friend gave her a necklace but demanded it back when realising it had value.

In a post to Reddit's "Am I the A**hole?" forum, the 36-year-old woman provided the details about how she was given the necklace from her friend named Michelle when she was pregnant last year.

"She said I could do what I wanted with it. It came in a beautiful little box and ribbon and I had planned to keep it in the family," she wrote.

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The woman's sister - who is a jeweller - came to visit from England recently, and noticed the necklace when the woman wore it to dinner.

"I never really discussed the necklace with my sister until then, as I always thought it was a cheaper present, until I put it on when we were going out for dinner. I'd left Matt [her son] with a babysitter and we were at the restaurant when my sister had asked where I got the necklace from," she explained.

"I was happy she noticed but told her it was a gift, and my sister asked me to look at it. I didn't think much of it until she mentioned it seemed expensive, and after a bit of searching and checking around we found out it was actually worth a ton."

While the woman didn't detail how much the necklace was worth she noted it wasn't millions or tens of thousands of dollars "but enough for me to make enough for a bit to help support my family or keep it in the family as an expensive necklace."

Soon enough, word got back to Michelle about the necklace's value and she wanted it back.

The woman's friend didn't realise how valuable the necklace was when she gifted it - and now she wants it back iStockphoto by Getty Images

"Michelle also found out, most likely from me messaging family and friends, and messaged me back asking for the necklace back.

"She apparently had been gifted the necklace as well from a relative but also thought it was cheap, and I replied back that I intended to keep it."

Though Michelle wasn't happy about this, calling her friend "selfish," saying it was hers first and that she never knew the value.

"Now my husband and sister are saying Michelle shouldn't have given it away, but I know Michelle could use the money and I think it's true she never knew the value too, or she wouldn't have given it to me. AITA for keeping it?" she asked.

There were hundreds of comments from people who were keen to share their thoughts on the situation, who concluded that the woman was not the a**hole in this instance.

One person wrote: "Nope. It’s a gift. It’s yours. You are using it.

Do not give it back. Once you are given a gift, it’s rightfully YOUR property. She should have thought about this before giving it away. NTA."

"NTA, frankly if you’re going to give jewellery away you should be checking the value," another person wrote.

Though there were some that felt that there was fault on both sides.

Someone else added: "ESH [Everyone sucks here]. She's tacky as hell for asking for the gift back after finding out its "worth", and you are as well for bragging to everybody about it."

"ESH. This wasn't something that needed you to brag about, or whatever caused multiple people to find out about. And friendship should be more important," a fourth person commented.

"For your friend, asking for a gift back is just tacky.

However, the woman has since responded to these criticisms by adding further clarification to her original post.

"Edit: No, I was not going around bragging to everybody about this necklace. I told my mom, and word gets around our family fast, so everyone was excited since my parents and their parents hadn't grown up in the best situations and this was a big deal to all of us. How exactly Michelle found out is beyond my knowledge, but it wasn't from me pushing it in her face."

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