This charity wants you to adopt an 'utter b*stard of a cat'

Form an orderly queue: Mr Biggles aka Lord Bigglesworth, an “utter b*stard of a cat” has been put up for adoption.

The Cat People of Melborne wrote an adoption listing for Mr Biggles, described him as a “despot and dictator” in the ad.

On his website – yes, he has a website – it describes Mr Biggles as having shiny black fur and big yellow eyes. But it warns that he might give you a nip or swipe at your feet.

If that hasn’t convinced you, he also:

Throws a catty tantrum if he can't go outside when he wants to be let out

Will let you know he is not happy, which is often because things are often just not up to his high standards

Will sit in your lap when he decides it's time. If the stroking is not up to his standards, he will nip you

Believes he was put on this earth to be decorative and be worshipped by his human slaves

The ad warns Mr Biggles isn’t for the fainthearted or inexperienced, but does promise that, for the right person, he’ll make an “exceptional feline companion for life”.

And while he doesn’t like being picked up, he “permits kisses on his shiny black head if he's feeling mellow”.

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