Never has "good morning" felt less appropriate, but what else is there to say?
In what was arguably the most pivotal election of a generation, the county spoke and the result is... well, it's not the dream for anyone who would like to believe they live in a country where people would not vote in a racist, misogynistic, homophobic buffoon with a demonstrable record of both lying and completely failing to grasp reality.
Not to mention the whole Brexit thing.
If you gave up on the world after the disastrous exit poll last night, that's totally understandable. Here's everything you missed:
The Tories appear to have won the predicted majority
Boris Johnson has surpassed the 326-seat majority he needed to win a majority to become PM.
And because there's always a bit of extra time to get a couple of slogans in, Johnson said:
It does look as though this One Nation Conservative government has been given a powerful new mandate to get Brexit done.
Unclear what he's banging on about, but we might as well get used to that.
Jeremy Corbyn is stepping down
What a ride this has been. From the socialist hero here to save us all, the "absolute boy", and highlight of Glastonbury, to a problematic pariah who can't seem to go a week without another misstep, Corbyn's time as leader is very much now up.
We can probably credit him with getting young people properly excited about politics again and that's quite a legacy.
Here's hoping the next Labour leader can be something other than a straight, white man of retirement age. Jess Phillips, Angela Rayner and Sadiq Khan are among those getting people excited. Watch this space.
Bad times for Labour-turned-Lib Dems Chuka Umunna and Luciana Berger...
Once Labour's golden boy, it's been a bit of a year for Umunna, who defected to that party that made no sense and kept changing names (The Independent Group/Change UK). He then decided to join the Lib Dems (many thought he'd be the next leader) and stood not in the Streatham constituency he'd held since 2010, but in Cities of London & Westminster.
Looks like his centrist charm didn't translate north of the river, and the Conservatives have held on to the seat. On the plus side, at least Mark Field, of manhandling-climate-protestors-out-of-dinners fame is no longer their MP.
Similarly, Berger left Labour along with Umunna after representing Liverpool Wavertree since 2010. She cited the antisemitism in the party as her reason. Now standing as a Lib Dem in Finchley and Golders Greens, she's met the same fate as Umunna.
One wonders what the outcome of the election might have looked like had The Great Defection of February 2019 not gone ahead, and the MPs who disagreed with Corbyn had stuck around, much like Corbyn managed to keep it together though 13 years of Tony Blair.
...and Conservatives-turned-Lib Dems didn't do great either
Sam Gyimah was probably the highest profile candidate in this category. He also abandoned his constituency in order to stand in Kensington and it very much backfired, with the Tories holding onto the seat by a mile.
The Lib Dems couldn't even keep their leader in parliament
As we predicted after the exit poll, Jo Swinson lost her seat. Very very bad times for the Remain Party.
High profile Tories firmly out of danger
Dominic Raab's Portillo moment never happeened, and the "British AOC" Faiza Shaheen failed to unseat Iain Duncan Smith, despite the energy surrrounding her campaign.
We're still waiting to find out if Theresa Villiers may meet the fate predicted for all three, but it seems unlikely.