This could be the most positive news about Donald Trump in history.
Cassandra Blackwell, 22, was inspired by the Republican candidate's verbal gynmastics and tactical evasion in his answers during the last US presidential debate.
That night, the young Canadian got a text message from the person she was seeing, asking her "how many other guys" she was talking to.
In response, she decided to indulge in some Trump-esque tenuous segues and bizarre non-sequitors.
The result is genius.
"We never said we were exclusive," she begins.
She quotes, almost word for word, Trump's response to the alleged sexual assault.
She told BuzzFeed:
I kept it up for a few more texts when he kept saying ‘seriously?’ and I was replying things like ‘I have a tremendous plan to do it’ and ‘I will defeat ISIS’ but eventually he stopped replying.
She also said that while she thinks Trump is a "monster", "using such an extreme diversion in your dating life is funny".