Every song from The Life Of A Showgirl, ranked by a Taylor Swift super fan

We're marking October 3rd slightly differently to Mean Girls Day this year, as Taylor Swift's 12th studio album, The Life Of A Showgirl, has officially dropped - and naturally - the internet has descended into chaos.

The record comes just under a year and a half after the release of her last record, The Tortured Poets Department, on April 19, 2024.

Listening parties have spanned the globe over the last few hours as fans get stuck into the album, and a film going behind-the-scenes of the songs' production is being shown in cinemas over this weekend.

Tracks include 'The Fate of Ophelia', 'Elizabeth Taylor', and 'Eldest Daughter' (in the coveted fifth song spot), and it's worth noting TLOASG was created in collaboration with Max Martin and Shellback, who have also had a hand in Red, 1989, and Reputation.

What's more, fans can expect appearances from George Michael (in the form of a sample) and Sabrina Carpenter too.

There are 12 whole songs to get through, so where should you begin? Well, we've managed to enlist the help of Taylor Swift super-fan, and author of Taylor Swift: The Story of Us - A Swiftie's Journey Across the Eras, Caitlin Robson, to deliver her official ranking of every single track, from lowest to highest.

Taylor Swift

12. Opalite

“You were dancing through the lightning strikes, sleepless in the onyx night, but now the sky is opalite”

"Don’t ask me why, but as soon as this song came on - I kind of knew it would shuffle down the ranks, and I really do hope that changes. I like the chorus a lot; but the verses just don't have the same catch that I wanted to go with it.

"Again, this song is about how being with someone who is right for you can change the way you view the world. Being safe and happy and settled in a relationship makes everything brighter."

11. Father Figure

Taylor Swift

“I pay the check before it kisses the mahogany grain, said, 'they want to see you rise, they don't want you to reign'"

"I think I am a tiny bit disappointed with this track on the album only because it was revealed that George Michael was credited as a songwriter and I expected a little bit more with the interpolation of his 1987 hit of the same name.

"Once again the drums carry the song with minimal production in the verses making way for the overlay of a choir chorus to be the main focus. There is a swap here with the different styles of Taylor’s singing. These are breathy sopranos whispering, and then sing-talking through the verses. I do love it obviously, but I definitely like some of the other songs more."

10. Honey

“Take it to the floor, give me more, Buy the paint in the color of your eyes, And graffiti my whole damn life”

"I like the hopeful piano at the beginning, and then the production joins in really well. I like the intimacy here perhaps more than Wood.

"The concept of names, and the changing meaning of them when different people say the same word is what this song is about. I like the constant pull back to the 'you & me against the world' because it truly doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks, says or calls you. It matters about that one person who you are (facing and fighting) the world with.

"This song actually sounds like what Honey tastes like. So I do absolutely adore the title."

9. Wood

Taylor Swift

“And baby, I'll admit I've been a little superstitious, the curse on me was broken by your magic wand”

"A lot of people are going to be upset with me ranking this at number nine, but the stripped back production just didn’t call to me like the others did.

"It is definitely sexy, it's adult, and it builds on the themes of 'I’m not a teenager any more, so don’t put me back in that box.' Calling it now, for those who are keen to capitalise on her upcoming nuptials, this is the Travis song. There are a lot of references to him here. As soon as this song started I could hear the Jackson 5."

8. CANCELLED!

“Did you girl-boss too close to the sun? Did they catch you having far too much fun?, Come with me, when they see us, they'll run”

"I like this song! It is shady!

"It reminds me of 'Look What You Made Me Do' But I like this one more. It does well to continue the narrative that 'it is easy to make wounding judgements to knock down powerful women you don’t like for any good reason.' There is poison in these words, but this is just because Taylor has gotten a lot better at standing up and defending herself and this reflects in her music now.

"The friendship theme is strong and we do know who Taylor’s friends are. Her commentary through song is important that she wouldn't be this honest and daring in interviews for fear of being cancelled?! Again, Reputation fans will like this song. I might be delusional but I think I can hear Selena Gomez."

7. The Fate Of Ophelia

Taylor Swift

“And if you'd never come for me, I might've drowned in the melancholy, I swore my loyalty to me, myself, and I, Right before you lit my sky up”

"I definitely think that this song the more I listen to it has the possibility to climb higher on my list.

"I’m sad it isn’t higher, because the music at the beginning gets me excited straight away. There is a contrast of the sad narrative against the upbeat musical backdrop. This is a Taylor Swift speciality, as is her literature references.

"Taylor rose to fame with her Shakespearean (Romeo and Juliet) references from the break out 'Love Story' and so this new inclusion of Hamlet to her repertoire introduces us to the mad, desolate, melancholy and bruised Ophelia. Again, Taylor recreates and rewrites the ending to the well-known play, again educating yet another generation on Shakespearean tragedy."

6. Actually Romantic

“And I know you think it comes off vicious, But it's precious, adorable, Like a toy chihuahua barking at me from a tiny purse”

"As soon as I heard this song, I thought about The Breakfast Club - don’t ask me why.

"Then I began thinking about the characters she was creating - those classic polar opposite pairs we see in John Hughes movies - I kept seeing pictures of proms and dances and enemies to lovers tropes dancing around in my head. Musically, again, it doesn’t sound to me like any Taylor songs I have heard in recent years, so it is a really welcome change and surprise (and definitely in part because she is working with Johan Shellback and Max Martin again.)

"I have found myself doing quite a lot of head nodding and swaying in this album as opposed to running to the middle of the dancefloor (that still will happen). I would not be surprised if this is the first song off the album to be used in a rom-com very soon, because after 20 years in the game, Taylor still knows exactly who to pitch her songs too."

5. Elizabeth Taylor

Taylor Swift

“I'd cry my eyes violet, Elizabeth Taylor, Tell me for real, do you think it's forever? Been number one, but I never had two”

"Elizabeth Taylor was referenced once previously in Taylor’s music in 'Ready For It?' on Reputation. Here we already know that the Hollywood actress’ reputation precedes her – known for her many husbands, who famously took more notoriety over her art and acting career.

"The same goes for Taylor and so this parallel narrative reads almost like a letter asking the Golden Age screen icon for advice of what to do with the attention. The drums and bass again here have a dominance that complements the vocals so well and I would like to thank Max Martin and Johan Shellback for their wonderful return to Taylor’s music."

4. Wi$h Li$t

“I made wishes on all of the stars, Please, God, bring me a best friend who I think is hot, I thought I had it right, once, twice, but I did not”

"This song is catchy and upbeat, and it immediately invites you in to listen. You will be nodding your head to it in no time. In the chorus, Swifties and otherwise who enjoyed reputation will be able to hear pieces of it here. I was hearing 'Glitch' from Midnights too.

"This song in its entirety is about desire, but it is certainly more grown up than her other songs that have similar lyrics. We find out what Taylor wants, what she thinks other people want, what we are supposed to want. In summary, this does sound what Taylor’s future may look like, which now has Travis Kelce standing by her side."

3. Ruin The Friendship

Taylor Swift

“My advice is always ruin the friendship, better that than regret it for all time, should've kissed you anyway”

"I put Ruin The Friendship in third because I really love the transition at the end of 'Eldest Daughter' into this song.

"It feels like a song played at an 80s disco, with the bass guitar carrying through the song. I also love that I can see the music video fully formed in my head, with Taylor perhaps swaying in a ballgown reminiscent of the Speak Now-era.

"It is a song that is classic Taylor – fans will be happy. The lyric narrative makes me think of 'Betty' from Folklore or even 'You Belong With Me' from way back in the Fearless days.

"Taylor's modus operandi has always been 'I like you but I’m not going to tell you here’s a song instead.' I haven’t heard anything similar to this from Midnights or The Tortured Poets Department. So the new sonic sound is welcome."

2. Eldest Daughter

“I have been afflicted by a terminal uniqueness, I've been dying just from trying to seem cool”

"This is the softest song on the album, but I think Taylor’s vulnerability is her superpower, and it still hits just as hard as the loud pop tracks.

"Swifties have a special affiliation with track five’s on every Taylor Swift album, and they will not be disappointed. Musically, the production is piano and guitar, and stripped back to focus on her promises of 'I'm never gonna leave you now.'

"She stands true to this, because next year her debut album will be 20 years old. To other non-Swifties I think this song will be important to showcase Taylor’s versatility in songwriting. She can write sad slow songs, as well as the big hits. I do love this song a lot already, but perhaps that is because I am an eldest daughter myself."

1. The Life of A Showgirl (featuring Sabrina Carpenter)

Taylor Swift

“You don't know the life of a showgirl, babe and you're never gonna wanna"

"I cried when I heard this song for the first time. To me (and to many other fans) it is Taylor’s heart cracked open, sharing another side of the narrative that her fans know her for. It is a brilliant track to end with, and can be added to the list of a special few Taylor Swift songs that explain to listeners both sides of what it is like to be famous.

"The Sabrina Carpenter feature is important here – it showcases two women a decade apart and very different stages of their careers but uniting to give us a masterpiece of a collaboration. Lyrically, fans will recognise similarities to Taylor’s previous album The Tortured Poets Department here, where “Clara Bow” calls out women at the top of their musical mountains. Musically, it is positioned as the albums encore and it's my number one because it will be the track I remember the most."

Why not read...

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