Browsing through people you don’t know on dating apps, hoping to find the one, is odd enough. But it’s even odder if you match with your spouse.
For people in open relationships or polyamorous couples, running into each other on dating apps like Tinder might be a normal part of life. But things aren’t likely to end too well if monogamous couples match on dating apps.
In a recent post on the relationships subreddit, a married man shared how he downloaded Tinder for the second time his wife was away "for fun".
This clearly isn’t going to end well, is it?
Yup, you’ve guessed it, the man eventually ran into his wife on the app.
I [m32] matched with my wife [f29] on Tinder. Big time throwaway account. I’ll start by saying that my wife and I don’t have any sort of open relationship agreement or anything of that nature. We met on Tinder 3 years ago, fell in love fast, moved in together, and got married. We’ve been married over 14 months now, and quite happily, I would say.
A month ago she left on a business trip for a week and I found myself downloading Tinder on a particularly lonely night. I don’t even know why. I didn’t have any intentions. But I did it. I swiped here and there and got pretty bored with it. It was a funny reminder of that time of my life. I deleted it and moved on.
On Monday my wife left for another business trip. Last night I once again downloaded Tinder and started swiping. Again, I had a laugh, but ultimately was bored of it. Then I saw her picture come up.
The man eventually decided to "swipe right" on his wife, which led to them matching.
I sat shocked for a moment. I wondered if I should just delete it and pretend nothing happened. I thought maybe a bot stole her picture.... But I read her profile... it’s her. It’s her now and it’s her live. There’s even a picture of her where I am cut out.
I decided to make a bold move and swipe right. I swiped and we matched. She gets back from her business trip tomorrow. I’m going to confront her then. I don’t even know how this is happening. She’s over 100 miles. Is a friend of her using her account??
The man said that neither have messaged each other, but he’ll discuss it with his wife when she returns from her trip.
Now I have to explain why I was on Tinder. This is just a huge can of worms that got opened.
What the hell do I do? TL;DR - I matched with my current wife on Tinder.
Now that his wife has seen his profile, the man feels strange about explaining his decisions to download it for fun.
romansamurai replied to the post with theories about what is really going on.
I’m curious. Imo 3 possibilities:
It’s a catfish.
She has been using tinder also to “have a laugh”....like OP here. (But if she’s using it when on trips why put location of home area?)
She or someone else saw OP on tinder and she decided to see if it was him herself. And so SHE caught HIM on tinder!"
I’m leaning towards 3
Also you can bluff saying you saw her on tinder so wanted to see if it was her. But what if she actually did that to YOU. Just be honest. You shouldn’t have been on tinder anyway. I don’t buy your excuse.
XxQueenOfSwordsXx thinks that both parties need to come clean about the real reasons for being on the app if they still see a future together.
Did it ever occur to you that she has suspected you were back on Tinder, and swiped on you to see how often you use the app?
"Also, you just should come clean to her why you were on Tinder and not lie. I mean.. you want the truth from her right? What kind of marriage do you have if you guys can’t be honest with each other?"
The moral of the story is, if you're in a mongamous relationship, it's probably best not to download Tinder and open this particular can of worms. Eek.