Here, we delve further into the amazing psychological reasoning behind the choice of each country.
I really did not like the Bahamas. Beautiful place, but the vibe I got from the locals was very much “if it weren't for your tourist dollars we'd rather you weren't here at all.
You’re probably not wrong, gogojack.
Note: the thread is in English, and a large, large proportion of Reddit users happen to be American. Not throwing shade, just stating a fact.
The U S of A:
But some Reddit users decided to hit back at the Yanks.
USA. Too many loud, fat people.
Points for conciseness.
I was in California and my god you have a lot of poor people!
Where the hell is this kid even from?!
USA. Mostly because I will never be able to afford it. But it was the gross tasting water that truly started to drive me insane.
One can only assume this was the straw that broke the camel's back.
Not to be outdone, the Americans rallied and found common ground: just how terrible Florida is. As user xenjael said, “I wonder when Florida replaced Jersey as the state to hate?”
In all fairness I think the reason most Americans pretend global warming isn't a thing is cause Florida would pretty much disappear after a 2m raise in water levels…
I know this said country, but honestly I can't think of any countries I have been to that are so bad I would flat out refuse to go there again. However, I flat out refuse to go to New Jersey or Florida ever again.
Thank god for this guy, the voice of reason:
Don't worry, Florida is the North Korea of the U.S. We have 49 other states as well.
Egypt came in for a serious roasting. Not just because of the heat.
Egypt. Glad I saw the historic sites, would never want to deal with the people again.
I hated Egypt. The hotels are full of rude, arrogant Russians. The snorkelling is good, however we saw a shark off the pier at the hotel.
What’s the problem here - Egypt, Russians or sharks?
BirdMolester had this bizarrely contradictory thing to say:
Egypt, Mexico and Turkey. I’m not a feminist but holy f*** they seem sexist.
ViveLaUtopia seemed to agree:
Turkey. Because who the f*** goes on holiday to be constantly heckled and not left alone by a bunch of sleazy men?
One place that seemed to attract a lot of love and heart - warming homilies was the emerald isle.
These two also had the luck of the Irish:
I went to an outdoor play in Kilkenny. It had been a lovely day, but just as dusk came on, some rain clouds were threatening to make us all a bit uncomfortable. All of the locals around me had rain gear, being used to this kind of thing. They immediately noticed that I did not, and despite my protests, the tiny Irish grandmother in front of me offered me the extra poncho that she 'always carries' because she didn't want me to miss a moment of the show. I <3 Ireland.
A driver stopped his out of service bus and insisted I get on because my bag looked heavy.
As DundonianStalin said: “Who could possibly not like Ireland?”
This was the reply:
The rest of the UK wasn’t as popular, however. London was variously referred to as “a total s***hole”. User TogShark had this (hilarious stereotype) to say about the North:
We ended up meeting this bloke from Manchester who had a scar on his forehead. He was a nutcase. Turns out he frequently headbutted people whilst drunk at football games. Nobody f***ed with us when we were with him.
He did offer this post script: "Despite being a terrifying guy, he was actually pretty decent.”
They fared slightly better down under:
Every Australian person that I've ever met at first glance seems like they are going to cause trouble, but in the end they seem to only ever cause the fun kind of trouble.
Be careful in the USA. People here can't help themselves around people who speak English with sexy accents.
- Bonus tip for Australians
Beware. Although that wasn’t the only thing that Australians should fear...
Nice enough place, but the drop bears were a bit of a hassle. Killed half my tour group, I'd have died myself if a giant spider hadn't got the one aimed for me. Really a shame, surprisingly laid back people for a continent that's basically spending all its time trying to kill them.
You've got to love how casually he relates this tale of carnage.
Australia was great. Friendly people, beautiful scenery, plenty of booze.
What more could you possibly want?
Surprisingly, Italy didn’t do too well. It was repeatedly and pricelessly referred to as “too loud”.
Italy. Their culture and norms are cool and all, they’re just not my cup of tea. I like my personal space and my quiet. Italy violated both of those much more severely than I can handle.
How much do you want to bet this is an English lass?
Then this bizarre exchange:
Pasglop: 'Milan is basically France if it was German, but in Italy, in other words, South Switzerland.'
kasert778: 'You just mind f***ed me with this phrase.'
And this damning final shot:
I would love Italy if not for the mentality of Italians. They take the longest possible amount of time.
Just recently my keys were stolen in Trieste Italy and I've been stuck here for two days trying to get a tow. Every time I call them they just keep saying “Allora” - “Tomorrow”.
"Allora"doesn’t mean tomorrow, by the way. That could be the issue here.
France came in for some serious shade too.
France. People there were in general very rude, xenophobic and arrogant. The only reason I will cross their border is to get to Spain or England. This is the only reason any self-respecting person have to go there - to be somewhere else.
France, F those racist bastards. Austria, on the other hand, is awesome.
Except whenever Austrians do decide to go racist, they go large.
Cambodia. Beautiful but sketchy as f***. Never say never though.
Then these masters of the observational, the banal, the euphemism...
Aguaman5000: 'Somalia. The whole not having a government isn't working out too well. And pirates.'
seige197: 'Denmark. People were too tall and had no personality. Good breakfast though.'
meiyoumayo: 'Luxembourg. It's just very meh. It's just kind of...eh.'
drjimshorts: 'US Virgin Islands. There isn't anything to do there at all. Saw some cool pelicans though.'
Then these outsanding tales of traveller woe:
tehosiris: 'Tunisia. Me: diarrhea, GF: constipation. One thing we didn't argue about was the toilet.'
ceyzilla: 'Uzbekistan. I was there for a wedding a few years ago. My brother and I were so bored that we started playing a game where we'd try and hit each others' nuts with a tennis ball. And we took turns.'
At least they took turns.
Then things got a little existential:
EtsuRah: 'Missouri. I can't go to places that don't exist.'
PersonalSolution: 'Yugoslavia. It no longer exists.'
HITLERS_SEX_PARTY: 'Solomon Islands. It has no reason to exist.'
This guy was as confused as us.
TheLegend55: 'Can I ask why you visited the Solomon Islands?'
HITLERS_SEX_PARTY: 'On a sailboat, we stopped for fresh water.'
That sounds like a pretty good reason to exist, to be honest.
Then things took a turn for downright weird...
outforatroll: 'America because I'm banned for life.'
kaiokenx4: 'Westeros. Now that Cersei rules it you are in constant danger of being exploded randomly walking down the street.'
Azogthedefilero: 'Mordor. Too hot, volcanic and too many orcs. Not for me.'
And this guy just couldn't even.
All of them. Get me out of this life.
One kind Reddit user stepped in to talk Tito out of his emotional ditch with some words of consolation: