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Mimi Launder
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It's the year 2050: Great Britain is a desert island, we eat barbecues for every meal and Boris Johnson emigrated north in an attempt to stop looking like a lobster.
With parts of Britain set to face temperatures of at least 35C by Thursday after weeks of sun, it's hard to see the future going any other way.
Perhaps this is just the world's way of punishing us for not settling for rain. By the way, rain is that wet, cold thing that used to fall from the skies and is also what dreams are made of.
Well, Brits are sick of it, and have taken to Twitter in droves to let the weather know what's what.
OK, enough now.
This heatwave is like a house party. Yeah it was fun to begin with, but now it’s 4am, you’re in your dressing gown,… https://t.co/Ngy6kublli— Jack Wood (@Jack Wood) 1532340788
These are the kind of temperatures we use to cook a roast. One we might enjoy on a normal, chilly summer's day.
Weeks into the heatwave and the British are already wondering if it will outlast us.
The 3 stages of British people and the weather. 1. WHERE IS THE SUN? WHY IS IT RAINING? WILL WE EVER GET A SUMMER?… https://t.co/8sGtzRcftP— Amanda (@Amanda) 1532338440
We English will face our inevitably fiery deaths like we always do. Proud. Fearless. And in a pub garden.… https://t.co/Ytbly8RYB9— Christopher Byford (@Christopher Byford) 1532353099
Starting to accept we’re a hot country now it’s not a heatwave it’s a lifestyle— Jack Oldroyd (@Jack Oldroyd) 1532357261
Everyone is swogging.
It's time to shuffle out the verb 'swog' (1600s): to move slowly and heavily, because it's too hot to even think of speeding up.— Susie Dent 💙 (@Susie Dent 💙) 1532360345
We're not prepared for this.
I am not made for this hot weather. Send fans and ice. #british #toohot #Heatwaveuk https://t.co/oIpgyPJt2L— Dr Erica Hawkins 🌱🔬 (@Dr Erica Hawkins 🌱🔬) 1532351025
Okay enough now. This heatwave has gone on for long enough... we’ve had our fun but I’d like London to return back… https://t.co/GgmhAH49XP— Dina Asher-Smith (@Dina Asher-Smith) 1532370855
Most of us don't even have fans, let alone air con.
on a mission to buy industrial giant fans, me and the dog are turning to mushy pulp in this heat in the house. I ne… https://t.co/KileDR6ieD— nick grimshaw (@nick grimshaw) 1532361074
The tube is getting unbearable, as this disturbing footage reveals.
actual footage I took of someone on the central line #Heatwaveuk https://t.co/KlVVtZYwgG— Sammy Albon (@Sammy Albon) 1532358179
The heatwave is just the long awaited comeuppance for people who live on the central line and are smug af about it.… https://t.co/psupB93KDu— Megan Townsend (@Megan Townsend) 1532367690
Though not everyone in Britain has it quite as bad...
“It just goes on and on on. It’s unbelievable.” My Dad on the phone rn complaining about Edinburgh’s endless and “u… https://t.co/rG6FAX6c86— Jill Stark (@Jill Stark) 1532420309
Wind? Rain? Cold? Don't be like this. We take it back.
Dear The Cold, The Wind and The Rain, I’m so sorry for all the bad things I said about you. I realise now that I w… https://t.co/Z4SG27j53f— Jamie Spafford (@Jamie Spafford) 1532358780
Can’t believe I’m saying this but a wee bit of rain wouldn’t go amiss 😰 #Heatwaveuk— Lewis Walter (@Lewis Walter) 1532351561
Hit the point in this heatwave where it completely throws me every time I open the wardrobe and see a jumper in the… https://t.co/YkZisleRDH— Alex Collinson (@Alex Collinson) 1532294125
The weather is definitely angry with us.
This British heatwave is so passive aggressive lmao it’s like someone keeps turns turning the thermostat up 1 degree at a time— calamari connoisseur (@calamari connoisseur) 1532380636
Remember the Beast from the East? They were better days.
🔘February 2018: It’s snowing, experts warn us to stay indoors. 🔘July 2018: It’s too hot, experts warn us to stay indoors.— Tony Shepherd (@Tony Shepherd) 1532350354
But least we know who's to blame.
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