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We listened to Ed Miliband's speech so you don't have to

We listened to Ed Miliband's speech so you don't have to

Ed Miliband today gave an 80 minute long conference speech. We listened to it, so you didn't have to. Here is what we learned:

1. Ed Miliband personally canvassed people ahead of the Scottish independence referendum

Including a woman named Josephine. And no, he doesn't know how she voted.

2. Actually Ed Miliband speaks to a lot of normal people

Those namedropped in the speech included Ziomara , who works in a pub, two girls he met in a park and Gareth, Elizabeth and a man named Colin. Which prompted the Sun to do this:

3. He knows we feel atomised. But he wants to emphasise togetherness. Or "the principle of together".

If the ethic of the 20th century was hierarchy, order, planning, control, the talents of a few, the ethic of the 21st century is cooperation, everybody playing their part, sharing the rewards, the talents of all. It is time we ran the country like we know it can be run.

4. He is not that good at jokes

"David Cameron doesn't lie in bed at night thinking about the United Kingdom. He lies in bed at night thinking about the United Kingdom independence party."

5. But he is quite good at attacking David Cameron

They say they don't believe in Government intervention. Really?

Of course they do because if you're a millionaire seeking a tax cut you're certainly not going to be on your own.

And if you are a Conservative-supporting, gold-mining, luxury hotel-owning, Putin award-winning Russian oligarch and you have £160,000 to spare to bid in an auction, you won't be on your own. You'll be on the tennis court playing doubles with David Cameron. That's all you need to know about this Government.

You can't afford to take that risk. The British people can't afford another five years of David Cameron."

6. He also had something to say about Isis

He backed United States air strikes on Isis (also known as Islamic State) targets in Syria. "We support the overnight action against Isil. What needs to happen now is that UN needs to play its part - a UN Security Council resolution to win the international support to counter that threat of Isil," he said.

7. And LGBT rights

Lord Michael Cashman will be Labour's envoy to promote LGBT rights around the world.

8. As for the other policy announcements?

Miliband said an incoming Labour Government would give the NHS a £2.5bn injection, funded by a mansion tax, a levy on tobacco firms and closing tax loopholes exploited by hedge funds. He would also replace the House of Lords with a senate of nations, employ 20,000 more nurses and have votes from 16.

9. Oh, there was also a very awkward kiss.

More: 11 reasons why Ed Miliband shouldn't be on instagram

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