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Kate Plummer
Oct 14, 2022
Kwasi Kwarteng says he is ‘absolutely 100%’ not resigning as chancellor
Indy
Kwasi Kwarteng has been sacked as chancellor.
Yes, prime minister Liz Truss is in a silly goofy mood and has sacked the man who implemented her economic policies, after an embarrassing few weeks in which these policies plunged the pound, and sustained criticism triggered tricky u-turns.
It is just an average Friday afternoon in British politics, then, and people are remarking on just how short Kwarteng's tenure was - 38 days to be precise.
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Yes, he didn't last long at all and to put this sad (?) fact in perspective, here are a few things that lasted longer than Kwarteng.
1. David Blaine's glass box stunt
In 2003, the American illusionist David Blaine spent 44 days suspended in a glass box by the River Thames in London without food.
The stunt shocked the world and it was reported that some 10,000 people went to look at him.
Kwarteng was allowed food and shelter as chancellor, but lasted six days less than Blaine's stunt.
\u201cKwasi was Chancellor for five days less than David Blaine was in that box\u201d— Ed Cumming (@Ed Cumming) 1665744174
2. Cheese
Another one of Truss's enemies - cheese - often lasts longer than 38 days.
A whole, unopened block of Parmesan cheese can last seven to nine months in the fridge, for instance.
Other food also has a longer shelf -life than Kwarteng's tenure as chancellor, including dried pasta, crisps, and dark chocolate, to name just three.
Incidentally, all these foods would be better at running the economy than Truss and Kwarteng.
\u201cI literally have some cheese in my fridge that has lasted longer than Chancellor Kwasi Kwarteng\u201d— Sathnam Sanghera (@Sathnam Sanghera) 1665744306
3. Nadhim Zahawi
We all thought it was pretty ridiculous when Boris Johnson appointed Nadhim Zahawi as chancellor to keep things ticking along during the Tory leadership race.
But Zahawi ended up as chancellor for 63 days. This is a lot longer than Kwarteng, who was meant to represent a fresh start, not become another caretaker chancellor.
\u201cWhen you're no longer the shortest serving Chancellor in living memory\u201d— General Boles (@General Boles) 1665743753
4. Boris Johnson's tenure as PM
Surely this is embarrassing given how incompetent he was.
5. GB News
Despite being quite an odd news channel with failure after failure, it is still going strong(ish).
We can't say the same about Kwarteng's career.
Awkward.
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