7 people who should actually be in Liz Truss's 'anti-growth coalition'

Liz Truss unveiled a new enemy of the Tories at the Conservative Party Conference on Wednesday, when she took aim at a group of “enemies of enterprise” she called the “anti-growth coalition”.

Not to be confused with David Cameron’s infamous “coalition of chaos” line used back in 2015, or indeed his eventual partnership with Nick Clegg’s Liberal Democrats, this new ‘coalition’ includes a range of individuals you’d expect Ms Truss to be fairly cheesed off with at the moment.

She told party members in Birmingham: “I will not allow the anti-growth coalition to hold us back.

“Labour, the Lib Dems, the SNP, the militant unions, the vested interests dressed up as think tanks, the talking heads, the Brexit deniers, Extinction Rebellion and some of the people we had in the hall earlier.”

And here we were thinking the anti-growth coalition included angry gardeners and those companies who advertise acne treatments on the London Underground.

Oh, and the “people we had in the hall earlier” were two Greenpeace protesters, who disrupted the PM’s speech and held up a sign asking “who voted for this?”

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Hilariously, The Independent reports that Downing Street has not ruled out chef Jamie Oliver as being a part of the “anti-growth coalition”.

But here's who we think are holding the country back.

1. Suella Braverman

We just don’t think dreaming of deporting asylum seekers to Rwanda by Christmas is an entirely normal thing to have as an “obsession”, and isn’t exactly progressive “growth”, either.

We just thinks it makes you seem cruel and heartless.

2. Mr Blobby

Look, we just feel like a giant pink monster famed for his high-pitched squealing, physical damage and clumsiness has been holding Britain back all these years, OK? Bye bye, Blobby, it’s time to go.

3. Dan Wootton

With an unhealthy obsession towards talking about Meghan Markle and an interest in filming his moment of “quiet reflection” for social media following the Queen’s death, GB News presenter Dan Wootton’s choice of talking points and what’s newsworthy is wild, and if we’re being honest, the whole channel sets UK news broadcasting back a decade or two with its sensationalist coverage.

Hardly the growth Ms Truss wants to see, folks!

4. David Byrne

It’s funny because he’s the singer-songwriter behind the band Talking Heads, who are one of the groups on Ms Truss’s “anti-growth coalition” list.

What do you mean she meant a different kind of talking head?

5. Joe Lycett

Like many other people out there, we were absolutely shocked when we learned on Sunday with Laura Kuenssberg last month that comedian Joe Lycett is actually Very Right-Wing and “loved” what Ms Truss had to say on the programme.

“You said earlier I’m not left or right. I know there’s been criticism in the Mail on Sunday today about leftie liberal wokie comedians on the BBC. I’m actually very right-wing and I loved it.

“I thought she gave great, clear answers. I know exactly what she’s up to,” Lycett said sarcastically.

And obviously, with Indy100 being a Very Right-Wing outlet, we agree with the Daily Mail when they criticised Lycett’s stunt in a front-page splash with the headline, “Now BBC comic mocks Liz Truss”.

Quite frankly, Lycett’s leftie humour is holding back growth in this country!

6. Brexit-backing Tory MPs (like Michael Gove)

Despite the UK’s decision in 2016 to leave the European Union causing food prices to rise by six per cent amid the cost of living crisis – according to a study from April – and severe delays at the Dover border, some Conservative MPs are still exaggerating the benefits of Brexit.

I mean, did business secretary Jacob Rees-Mogg actually uncover any “Brexit opportunities” when that was his job title?

And in the most frustrating development in Tory denialism, when former government minister Michael Gove was asked by EU campaigner Femi Oluwole in Birmingham whether Brexit has damaged the UK economy, his answer – after being asked several times for one - was simply “no”.

We look forward to seeing that £350 million soon, Michael!

7. Kwasi Kwarteng

Our chancellor of the Exchequer actually tanked the value of the pound following his mini-budget, and was forced to perform a screeching U-turn on his plans to scrap the 45p rate of income tax.

If shrinking the UK economy and backtracking on political decisions isn’t the definition of anti-growth, then we don’t know what is.

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