Rishi Sunak’s morning routine: How we imagine other politicians spend their days

Rishi Sunak spends his morning exercising vigorously then eating pastries, he has revealed.

In an appearance on the Twenty Minute VC podcast, the Chancellor of the Exchequer said he rises at 6am to do a Peloton workout soundtracked by Britney Spears, before often fasting until mid-morning at which point he indulges in a pain au chocolat, Gail’s cinnamon bun or a chocolate muffin.

There is often a lot of interest in famous figures’ morning routines. The first few hours of actor Mark Wahlberg’s day attracted widespread shock in 2018, when he told people he has breakfast at 3.15am and showers twice a day, to name but two of his cursed activities.

But while Sunak has been candid about his sweet tooth, other politicians keep their mornings shrouded in mystery.

Here’s what we think they might do (note this is pure parody and fiction and none of these things have ever happened):

Boris Johnson

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As the Prime Minister, Johnson is a pretty busy man. In the morning, he probably doesn’t have time to faff about in Gail’s, like Eat Out to Help Out Rishi does.

It has been said he sneaks in expensive takeaways to Downing Street keep to a strict diet, so he probably spends the morning dressed in camo while having his secret breakfast in a bunker. And while Sunak prefers a stationary bike, Johnson is a keen cyclist so probably cycles to work - infinitely more efficient use of a bike.

Johnson has also been accused of missing key meetings and being indecisive, by his former adviser Dominic Cummings so the extent to which he is useful in the mornings (or afternoons, or evenings) is up for debate. In Cummings’ view, Johnson wakes up and reads the papers to find out what people are saying about him, for instance. Perhaps it is best for the country if he just has a lie-in?

Keir Starmer

PA

The leader of the opposition is similarly busy.

Accused of being devoid of personality by pundits and gravity pulling him down in the polls, Starmer has a lot to contend with. So, we’d imagine he spends his morning searching the internet for hobbies he could pretend to have, to make him seem relatable to Ordinary Voters.

So far he has said he loves football, a good start, and that his wife didn’t like him on their first meeting. Starmer probably spends the rest of the morning fasting for fear that Eton educated Johnson will wrongly accuse him of being part of the ‘Islington elite’ if he eats anything other than dry toast.

Matt Hancock

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We’ve all seen footage of journalists trying to doorstop Hancock in the morning, only to watch him literally run away, so we know what the Health Secretary likes to do in the morning - jog.

So, it seems Hancock is a Health Secretary with healthy habits. As such, we assume his breakfast is some sort of ghastly protein shake or gulped egg yolk to maximise his gains.

With all the schtick he has been getting lately, he probably also practises daily affirmations in the mirror. How else could he give his coronavirus evidence with a straight face?

Liz Truss

Liz TrussPA Wire

We all know that Liz Truss is devastated by Britain importing food from abroad - particularly cheese. Therefore, she probably wakes up in floods of tears before drinking a strong cup of British Tea.

Truss is a bit of a hun, we’d argue, so we wouldn’t be surprised if her exercise class of choice was Zumba or something like Bums and Tums.

Jacob Rees-Mogg

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6am: Rees-Mogg wakes up and opens his coffin and stretches and prepares for his day in Victorian London...sorry 2021 London, a puts on the clothes arranged for him by his nanny.

After asking his butler if he has received any telegrams during the night, the Minister/ elaborate piece of performance art reads up on the latest social and progressive movements of the days then decides he is voraciously opposed to all of them.

Priti Patel

Home Secretary Priti Patel said she did not support England players taking the knee.PA Media

Priti Patel was recently papped wearing a jacket with “Home Secretary” emblazoned on it. So, she probably wakes up wearing ministerial pyjamas, has an egg with soldiers arranged to spell out the word ‘cabinet’ then gets ready for the day.

“Does everyone know I’m the Home Secretary yet?” she asks advisers who roll their eyes and nod.

In terms of exercise, running around the borders frothing about the number of immigrants entering the UK and chasing those who suggest her system is slightly problematic should take enough time to work up a sweat.

So there you have it. Leading politicians’ morning routines. Strictly in our imaginations, of course.