Tumblr mercifully mocks Twitter with two ‘Important Blue Internet Checkmarks’ for $7.99

After Twitter decided to open up its coveted blue checkmark to anyone who can afford to shell out $8 a month for the privilege, another popular social media platform – Tumblr – has decided to join in the fun, in its own special way.

Tech billionaire Elon Musk took over Twitter last month, in a controversial decision which has seen the mass firing of employees and verified accounts being split into those who are “notable” individuals and users subscribed to the paid subscription offer, Twitter Blue.

It’s the latter which staff at the micro-blogging site Tumblr have chosen to ridicule with their latest feature announcement, which looks set to go one better than Twitter by offering two checkmarks for $7.99.

Because, they say, “you can never be too important on the internet”.

A description of the offer reads: “We’re introducing Important Blue Internet Checkmarks here on Tumblr. They’re a steal at $7.99 – that’s cheaper than some other places, when you consider that you get not one but TWO checkmarks for your blog on web only (for now).

“Why, you ask? Why not? Nothing matters!”

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Now we don’t know about you, but we’re here for the cynicism.

It gets better, as a separate page containing further information about the ‘Important Blue Internet Checkmarks’ boasts there’s “no need to call” and you can secure the “coveted status symbol” without “having to be verified by staff”.

A disclaimer adds: “This is not a verification status; it’s an Important Blue Internet Checkmark, which in 2022 is just as legit.

“Also the Important Blue Internet Checkmark may turn into a bunch of crabs at any time.”

Unpredictable. We love it.

And it seems we’re not alone:

Though if you’re thinking of making a return to Tumblr – be it for the nostalgia or for refuge from the hellsite Twitter could soon become – you might want to be made aware of the latest “cringe” meme taking over the platform.

As a reminder, Tumblr banned nudity in 2018 which saw some users leave the platform in protest. Now that the ban has been reversed four years later, and Twitter is having A Time, people are considering logging back into their dormant accounts, or creating a new one.

Yet those who stuck around post-2018 aren’t too keen on a flood of people flocking to Tumblr, with the fountain of knowledge that is Know Your Meme explaining that “now that Twitter users are poking their noses back into Tumblr, those posters aren’t taking too kindly to deserters and newbies suddenly wanting back on the dark blue website”.

So they’ve deployed the best tactic they can to deter people from joining: cringe.

Tumblr itself doesn’t seem to mind though, tweeting on Tuesday: “We are cringe. But we are free.”

Touché.

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