The 10 funniest Christmas cracker jokes of 2014

The 10 funniest Christmas cracker jokes of 2014

Amateur wits were challenged to write jokes to liven up the usual offerings after previous research revealed most people find cracker gags outdated.

Around 2,000 Britons voted for the best from a shortlist compiled by judges for the TV channel Gold. Here's what they came up with...

1. What will be missing from Take That's Christmas stocking this year?

  • An Orange.

2. How does Luis Suarez like his Christmas dinner?

  • Bite-sized.

3. What do the royal family play at Christmas instead of musical chairs?

  • Game Of Thrones.

4. What did the snowman say to the aggressive carrot?

  • "Get out of my face."

5. Why is Christmas a busy time for David Cameron?

  • He's got two parties to organise.

6. What's the difference between Bono and Santa?

  • Santa gives you things you want.

7. Why won't Santa visit Nigel Farage?

  • Because he only comes if you sleep, not if Ukip.

8. Why are snowmen rubbish at cricket?

  • They're always bowling snow-balls.

9. I got a Ukip advent calendar this year...

  • It's rubbish, all the doors keep slamming shut.

10. Why is The Great British Bake-Off like the nativity?

  • Because the Star is in the Yeast.

More: These are the funniest men and women in Britain

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