Apparently you can now buy porn star-flavoured whisky

Here's the weirdest sentence you'll read today: you can now buy whisky that tastes like porn stars.

Tori Black and Joy van Velsen are the apparent master distillers "body blending" Whisky X, which seemingly means people with a lot more money than sense can "experience the perfect combination of premium quality whisky and the most coveted women".

Body-blending? The company's baffling ads imply women are showering in the whisky.


It’s not just a whisky, it’s body blended By-X. Taste and enjoy, because it is a pleasure to discover your passion for our whisky. Rich taste, high quality of whisky with a unique way of blending. Our whisky is body blended by the most beautiful women. Not only will the quality of our whisky make your heart beat faster, the thought of the same whisky touching the body of the woman of your dreams will leave you speechless.

Right. Well that makes everything really clear.

These bros in the Netherlands had their ludicrous-sounding idea in the pub. They thrashed out their business model on beer coasters, and instead of doing what the rest of us do the next morning and getting on with reality, set about making it happen.

A solid business plan.

And it's not just lady-skin distilled, oh no: Whisky X is filtered through both diamond and gold as well, which totally justifies the €124.95 (£89.12) pricetag.

Overall: Yuck.

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