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A bridesmaid has been left feeling like she is going to 'bash her head against a wall' after constantly being ignored about what colour dress she should buy for her brother's big day.

A post on the infamous AITA subreddit sees one woman explain how despite numerous requests she continues to be ghosted by the bride and the other bridesmaids about what dress she should buy.

u/Educational-Leg1046, who is a medical student, explains that she doesn't actually know the bride that well, as she only knows her because she is marrying her brother. so she was surprised to be asked to be part of the bridal party. To make matters worse the actual wedding falls on the same week as her all-important final exams.

"I made it clear that their wedding was during my final exam week, and while I was able to get an accommodation to take my last two exams early I still wouldn’t be able to help much with planning or be present at things like a bachelorette party/bridal shower. She said this was fine, it would mostly just be to have an even number of bridesmaids to groomsmen and for pictures."

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However, it would appear that the bride is a bit undecisive and hasn't told anyone what colour dress they should be ordering.
"So a couple of weeks go by and I ask what colour to order, bride says she still thinking about it. Couple more weeks go by and she's still thinking… then a couple more weeks. You get the idea. Now it’s at the point that if I don’t order this dress in a couple of days it won’t be here in time. So I ask on Saturday what colour. No response in the group chat to me."

This is where things start to get a bit sour as all of sudden the woman is bombarded with texts by the bride asking her why she hasn't ordered her dress yet. "I asked again yesterday (Sunday) what colour do I need to order? Then I’m flooded with messages lambasting me for not ordering a dress yet, from her sisters and my sister and her. My sister called me, told me to “get my sh*t together” and “order a dress already” because my lack of preparedness is causing the bride intense anxiety because she doesn’t think my dress will be here on time for the wedding now. She texted me this morning, 'don’t forget order your dress, love you' with smiling and kissing emojis."

"Still, no one has told me what colour! I’ve scoured the group chat for a mention of dress colours or an image of a dress but only the maid of honour sent a photo of her dress and I don’t know if she has a special colour. There’s thousands of messages so it’s not simple to find anything. Everyone else can meet in person so I assume the decision on colour was relayed in person. I can’t tell if I’m being purposefully excluded?

"About an hour ago my brother called me pleading with me to work things out with the bride because she’s panicking about me. I tried to explain this to him and he told me he doesn’t care, its a petty ladies issue, and since I’m not there for anything else this is the least I can do because the bride thinks I don’t like her because I wouldn’t come to anything. He’s taking her side. They know I’m in medical school, I have literally no say in my schedule. And I’m on the other side of the country, 5.5 hours by plane."

As is often the nature on Reddit many people have rushed to defend the woman in this frustrating situation. One person wrote: "CHRIST that was frustrating to just read, I can imagine you’re about to lose it right now."

Another said: "I am pretty sure they are excluding both her and her brother purposely. Screenshot all the messages (if any) of them suggesting different colours for the bridesmaid dresses."

A third wrote: "You don’t even need all that. Just tell them that you ordered the dark blue dress already & it should be here just in time… I’m sure they’ll get back to you incensed about what colour it should be.”

In an update, the bridesmaid managed to find out from her own mother that the colour of the dresses are lavender but she then got lambasted by the bride-of-honour: "I texted the maid of honor (bride’s sister) to ask what dress colour and got a multi-paragraph long lecture about not having ordered my dress yet. Basically, they are trying so hard to accommodate me being across the country by including me in the group chat. She said she didn’t remember the shade name but its a “dusty purple” then sent a blurry picture of a wrinkled order confirmation, the shade name was “mulberry.” On the dress website that is a darker wine/purple color. I told her this and she said to order the lighter dusty purple colour."

"I sent her a screen shot with the list of shade names and asked, “which of these?” She said she didn’t know because everyone ordered their dress so long ago and asked for pictures of the dresses in different shades from the website. So I sent screenshots of all the light purple colors. No response for a while so I called her on the phone, which she was upset about because its past 10pm over there now. Her response was “look, I don’t care what your problem is with me and my sister but if you want to stay in good standing with this family you need to get your ducks lined up girly.”

"I ignored the lecture/comments and asked: 'what colour?' Her response? 'Light purple” Me: 'of the three I sent, which one is it?' Her: 'I don’t remember, I’ll have to ask one of the other bridesmaids for her receipt, I’ll get back to you. ' I want to bash my head into a wall!"

The plot thickened after she learnt that her other brother was having similar problems with the groom's party. "I called my second brother, the one not getting married. He said they’re pulling similar things with him and he feels like he was deliberately given the wrong dates for the bachelor party by the best man (bride’s brother) so that he would miss it. He inadvertently learned about the changed date the morning of and when he asked the best man he told him it must have slipped his mind to tell him. Then joked that he wouldn’t have missed much since he probably won’t enjoy any of the “festivities” anyway. They’ve been making homophobic jokes and comments to him that he’s been ignoring but he thinks they’re trying to get him to back out of the wedding. So if we both back out then there will be an even number of bridesmaids to groomsmen again. Only speculation on our parts of course."

The Reddit post ends with the bridesmaid admitting that she is seriously considering pulling out of the entire wedding.

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