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Mimi Launder
Jan 16, 2018
iStock / wundervisuals
Some people get grumpy about language on the internet, but we're here to prove old words are far more ridiculous.
Which is of course exactly why we need to embrace them once again, as they are just as relevant today and sound pretty hilarious.
So, enjoy a few timeless words you never knew you needed in your life.
Twirlblast
This fun word that some sources date back to the 1700s is used to describe a tornado. Makes perfect sense.
Lanspresado
According to a 1736 dictionary of thieves' slang, which someone should start a petition to get republished en masse, a 'lanspresado' is: "He that comes into company with but two-pence in his pocket".
Basically, those people who insist they're skint so you have to buy them everything. A word that is undoubtedly needed in modern times where pint prices just keep rising.
Twattling
This is a much superior word for 'gossiping' that originates in the late 16th century and might be an alteration of 'tattle'.
For example, "I hate that guy. He's such a twattler". Doesn't that sound better than 'gossip'?
Uglyography
Yep, this one is exactly as it sounds. It is a word that probably originated in the 18th century and means you have really bad handwriting.
Groaning-cheese
This one should be brought back as a matter of necessity.
It describes an old birthing tradition where you cut a hole in a wheel of cheese, then pass your newborn through the remaining cheese-ring.
There is surely no better way to be introduced to the world.
Trumpery
Trumpery is a Middle English word that describes something that is showy but worthless. No comment.
Fudgel
An 18th century term that describes a phenomenon modern offices are no stranger to: pretending to work when you're not doing anything at all.
Scurryfunge
An Old English word that refers to that oh-so-relatable rushing around cleaning the house just before guests come over.
Ultracepidarian
A term thought to be first publicly recorded in 1819 that describes someone who offers up their opinions despite knowing nothing.
How has modern humanity survived without this word?
Grufeling
This means lying closely wrapped up, looking comfortable. It is often used in ridicule. For example, you could say: "Avid grufeling in the face of a challenge."
But what about a more friendly modern use? For example, we could say:"Got any Saturday night plans?"
"Yes, I'm Grufeling"
Shivviness
An Old Yorkshire word that describes the feeling of roughness when you put on new underwear.
Doggo
No, not you.
Back way before Twitter, Doggo actually referred to 'in concealment'.
Dormedory
This is a sleepy, stupid person who does not get on with work.
HT Bored Panda
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