A woman has spoken out about how her husband wants to void their prenuptial agreement now she earns three times more than him.
The 32-year-old woman said she has been married to her 34-year-old husband for six years.
She said he wanted to get a prenup to protect properly he owned in Nebraska and as she had debt from grad school. The couple never shared their finances before, beyond a shared household expenses account. She said they don’t live in an expensive state so she contributes around $1000 to $1200 to the household a month.
But after splashing out and buying a nice car for herself, he told her he wanted to void the prenup.
Posting to the Am I The A**hole subreddit, the woman said she agreed to sign the prenup before tying the knot because she “understood he wanted to protect himself” as he was on a good wage at the time, whereas her financial situation wasn’t as healthy as she was in graduate school.
Now, she’s been out of graduate school for four years and she estimates she makes more than three times her husband’s salary. Although they don’t talk about how much they get in their payslips, she knows her husband, a software engineer, was on around $90,000 when they got together.
Although he’s been promoted in that time, she reckons she still earns three times as much as he does.
Now a qualified nurse anaesthetist, she said she earns $175 per hour and can work up to 48 hours per week, equating to approximately $435,000 before tax.
The topic of the prenup came up two weeks ago after she bought a new car for herself to replace the one she had since her undergraduate days.
He said he was happy for her, and asked how much the monthly repayments were. But he was shocked to learn that she paid it all off in one go.
She said: “He was taken back and asked with what money and I answered that I made more than enough money to be able to afford it.
“He didn’t talk after that and I thought that was that, however after a few hours he came back to me and told [me] that he thinks we should void the prenup.”
In response, she “laughed in his face” and asked why she would agree to that. He told her as they’re married they should share finances.
She continued: “I told him that we’ve been married for six years and yet we’ve never shared financials and I was fine with what we were doing, and his sudden change of heart was very suspicious.
“He called me a bunch of names and stormed out and didn’t come home and I guess he told his family about our fight and they called to berate me and say how he supported me while I was in school (he didn’t) and now am wondering if I was the a**hole?”
The top comment, with 25,000 upvotes, reads: “Not gonna lie, you two don’t sound like partners. You sound like you’re against each other in life. Take this change of heart as the red flag that it is and consider how you want to proceed.” Another commenter responded: “He was happy to treat you like a gold digger until he wanted to become one himself.”
Another agreed, writing: “So he wanted the prenup initially to protect his money because you didn’t have much, and now you have more money he wants to void the prenup so he can have more of your money? Hmm. No wonder you laughed in his face.”
Another said they would have laughed too, but said they found it strange that they weren’t open about their finances with each other. They added: “He wanted the prenup and he got it. Don’t back down.”
In an update, she said that when she previously asked what salary he was on he would tell her it’s “rude” to ask. She added: “He’s never really been interested in my career or job and we don’t bring our work home.”
In another update, she thanked everyone for their opinions and said it gave her food for thought.
She wrote: “This post has really made me question everything in my life, I think am going to take a leave of absence from my work to sort out my life. My husband was only my second relationship and I guess I was too caught up in school, work and debt to really see that my marriage was a sham. [I] am not blameless which is hard to swallow, so I am going to have [a] conversation with my husband and see where we go from here if anywhere.”