There are some things we'd like to think are just common sense.

Looking both ways when you cross the street, for example, or walking carefully – not running! – while holding a pair of scissors.

Oh, and keeping meat and dairy products away from militant vegans.

Sadly, this wasn't to be the case on The Jeremy Vine Show, when Jeremy was joined by Joey Carbstrong.

The self-described 'vegan educator', from Adelaide in Australia, didn't take too kindly to Jeremy having a ham sandwich in the studio and subsequently fired off a rant at the presenter, in which he called ham a "euphemism" and said that the contents of his sandwich "didn't want to die".

I'm a bit upset to see your sandwich has a piece of a pig's body in there – a dead pig that didn't want to die.

Ham is a euphemism. That actually [came] from the flesh of a dead pig. I'd like you to call it the dead body of an animal that didn't' want to die.

Jeremy then asked Joey if the cheese in his sandwich was okay.

Spoiler: it wasn't.

The cheese comes from a mother who had her children taken from her and had hands shoved in her anus and was artificially inseminated with bull semen.

This is probably why vegans would say a dairy farmer is akin to a rapist.

Jeremy confessed he probably wouldn't eat the sandwich after that, but managed to poke the bear one last time by asking if a ham sandwich could really be that offensive to look at.

To which Joey replied:

I believe it's more offensive to actually show me the piece of an animal who didn't want to die than it is to call someone out for it.

Joey is currently on a tour of the UK trying to convert meat eaters to veganism.

And just when you thought Veganuary was over...

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