Have you ever answered a call from a number that you don’t recognize, only for it to be a telemarketer or annoying scam call?
If you have, more likely than not, you hung up before they can finish the ‘Hi, may I speak to so and so’ pitch.
But there may be a more satisfying way to deal with these calls.
In a post written by u/ChipForClicks on Reddit, they asked the following question: “What is something you say to scammers instead of hanging up?”
And fellow Redditors told their hilarious stories about the conversations and how they played out.
Check out what they had to say below. It may give you some inspiration on how to handle these situations.
1. “I once repeated "uh-huh, go on.." over and over until they got really irritated and then just hung up on me.”—u/orange_cuse.
When repetition is key.
2. “I asked, ‘does your mother know that you steal for a living?’ He responded, ‘yes’. I hadn't planned on that.”—u/sdb1977.
We didn’t expect that. Way to own the truth!
3. "‘Mr. Smashing Stuff, I'm calling about an accident you were involved in that wasn't your fault ... Oh it wasn't an accident, I meant to hurt those people.’ The pause you get before being immediately escalated to a 'manager' is like crack to me.”— u/Smashing_stuff.
We laughed out loud, that's brilliant 😂😂.
4. “Hi there, and thanks for calling the aquarium. Please be aware your call may be recorded for training porpoises.”—u/spunkymynci.
We love a good pun.
5. “I once saw caller ID (landline days) with a number that I figured was a telemarketer. In a ‘tough’ voice, without saying hello I asked, ‘Is he dead?’ And about a beat and a half later I said, ‘Because if he ain’t dead, don’t you even think about coming back here.’ Then what sounded like a young woman on the other end said, ‘Um, uh, uh Bye!’ Hope she had as much fun telling her friends as I had telling mine.”—u/About_Yeah_High.
6. “Sorry Johnny Fresh, if Freddy Fingers ain’t been taken care of before the boss gets back from his snorkeling cruise, it’ll be YOU who’ll be sleeping with the fishies.”—u/DJHott555.
Please don’t tell Tony Soprano.
7. "Oh hang on, let me get someone, they'll be able to help you! Then just turn the microphone off and go about my day.”—u/alexandicity.
Thank goodness for the mute option.
8. “I use to let them talk to my daughter when she was 2 all the time. She thought it was the best thing in the world. ‘One moment, I'll get the lady of the house for you right now’. ‘Heeeyyywooo??’"—u/pinkerly.
9. “My dad used to get a lot of Viagra salesman. So he pleads with them to stop sending free samples because he's too aroused all the time and can't live his life.”—u/anusthrasher96.
10. “If they are calling about windows and doors, I tell them I live in a tent. ‘You are calling a tent, did you know this?’ If they call about HVAC, I tell them I live in a castle, and we heat it in the wintertime by burning witches.”—u/aaronpbently.
Tents don’t have windows and doors, they have zippers and fabric. So window salesmen are kinda stumped by that.
11. “I get calls for duct cleaning. When they ask I ask if they do chickens or Geese too.”—u/KDM_Racing.
Punny, very punny.
12. “A friend told a floor covering solicitor that he had dirt floors.”—u/Canoe52.
A good salesman would have still pushed for the sale...
13. “I give them a phone number one digit at a time and ask them to repeat it as a whole after each one. Then tell them they got it wrong when I'm done and start over.” —u/Lakanooky.
14. “Ooooh man, I got the ‘you have $120,000 in debt on your credit card account’ call once a while back. First question I asked, ‘whose name is on the account?’ They actually called me a f***ing asshole for asking! So I just kept asking for the name on the account until they hung up.”—u/dancingcop7.
They should have at least tried guessing before getting upset over a normal question.
15. “Just treat them like a full-on sex line. Have actually gotten one to apologize for calling and promise he would never call me again.”—u/ZGRawr.
We don’t advise this.