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Mimi Launder
Jun 02, 2018
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Twitter / @byrdinator
Free will is an important right to defend - apart from when it comes to KitKats.
There is only one right way to eat the chocolate bar. We don't need any creativity here.
So, when Weekly Standard reporter Haley Byrd's boyfriend ate a KitKat by taking a massive, indiscriminate bite out of it, she wisely took him to Twitter court.
“I don’t think I’ve ever had a Kit Kat before,” my boyfriend remarks before doing THIS https://t.co/UQbuD3Etpg— Haley Byrd Wilt (@Haley Byrd Wilt) 1527812029
he had no idea why I laughed so hard. oh sweet summer child— Haley Byrd Wilt (@Haley Byrd Wilt) 1527812119
He had never eaten one before, but ignorance is no excuse.
Everyone instinctively knows that the only way to eat a KitKat is breaking apart the bars and nibbling on the ends.
There was even an entire marketing campaign dedicated to telling us just this.
People really weren't impressed, obviously.
@byrdinator Does he eat bananas sideways? How about pistachios? Does he take the shell off before chewing?— Jonah Goldberg (@Jonah Goldberg) 1527812712
@byrdinator @EastVillChris https://t.co/KumF2J654z— vile little bitch (@vile little bitch) 1527815958
Stuff got serious.
Break up with him at once https://t.co/522TLFnZxl— Jake Tapper (@Jake Tapper) 1527815018
@byrdinator give him a break (up with him)— Pete Cannon (@Pete Cannon) 1527812136
Even the dictionary got involved.
Break off: What one does to a @KITKAT. Also break off: What one might do to a relationship with someone who does… https://t.co/4SNLXJQew7— Dictionary.com (@Dictionary.com) 1527862380
Horrified, KitKat itself stepped in before the situation got messy.
@JoeWBowles @byrdinator @EvanWilt_ Step 1. Buy a Kit Kat Step 2. Break off the bars Step 3. Enjoy the chocolatey goodness 😉— Kit Kat (@Kit Kat) 1527882639
Some people shared other horrific food crimes they had witnessed.
@byrdinator This is how my daughter eats twizzlers. LoL https://t.co/pXGckh7THB— ☕️MamaFrimp☕️ (@☕️MamaFrimp☕️) 1527858790
@Obe1Cannoli @NorthLightz @byrdinator I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon!— Simon Sharkey-Gotlieb (@Simon Sharkey-Gotlieb) 1527819439
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